Faking It [Tokyo Ghoul: Hide Nagachika x Reader]

Chapter 20: Hide

I never went back to visit (y/n). Didn't, couldn't, wouldn't.
Kaneki was released from the hospital, but he avoided me. The only reason I even knew he was discharged was because I checked myself. One day, his bed was gone.
It was a long time before I was able to meet with him face to face at a small coffee shop called Anteiku.
"You've been ignoring all my calls and messages," I said, smiling but pained. That's kind of how I felt all the time now.
He nodded, looking down at the cup of coffee.
Nobody else was in the shop.
"I was scared."
"About what?"
He looked up at me. "Promise you won't...I don't know...be angry or upset or anything."
"I promise, I promise. Now spit it out."
After a moment, he put his fingers up to his eyepatch and slowly untied it, letting the bandage fall to the table. One of his eyes was black.
I laughed, trying to play it off casually. "So what? You're a half ghoul. Why would you be afraid? You didn't think I'd hate you, did you?"
"(Y/n) did," he said, and I froze.
"What?" I blinked, my smile gone. "Who told you about her?"
"Nobody. I met her myself, a few days before they released me. She came to my room and she told me-"
"Let me guess, that she was dying of cancer and that-"
Kaneki shook his head. "Just let me explain. She told me something else." He took a deep breath. "She told me about what happened to her. She was in a car with her mother, father, and brother when they crashed. Their car ended up hitting a ghoul, and (y/n) got out of the car to help or something, only she was almost killed, just like me. Then they took her and her family to the hospital. Her parents died instantly, but her brother was all right. She'd suffered severe injuries, though, so they tried the same thing they did with me." He looked down, stirring his coffee absently. "They implanted the ghoul's organs into her. Only something didn't work the way it was supposed to, and her body started rejecting the organs. That's when she started coughing up blood."
No, it's all lies. She's fooling him like she fooled me.
"Her brother only became a doctor because that's what she'd wanted to be, when she was younger. But when she started having attacks, he got a job at the hospital so he could keep an eye on her and keep her alive with all the equipment they have there. Plus, they had a blood bank, and he'd steal surplus blood bags for her so she could eat."
Kaneki looked up apologetically. "There's some in my coffee, too. Just to keep the edge off the hunger. Yours is normal though." He paused. "She told me about you, too. She couldn't tell you the truth, Hide. Even if you didn't sell her out as a half ghoul, you might have stopped talking to her. That's why..." He looked down at the table. "That's why I haven't been returning your calls. I was worried...like (y/n) was worried...that you might hate me because I'm not human anymore. You can't understand what it's like, being scared of talking to your best friend, but (y/n) understood. That's why she lied to you. She wasn't trying to trick you, Hide..." His eyes watered. "It's just, don't ghouls deserve to be loved too? Even if we're not human..."
I couldn't respond for a full five minutes. "I could never hate you, Kaneki."
"But you hated (y/n)," he said, looking up with tears in his eyes. "I thought, if you hated her, you would hate me too..."
"When did I ever say that I hated (y/n)?"
"She told me. After you stopped coming back. She said you hated her."
"That...that was for other reasons." I put my hand in my pocket and felt the crumple of paper. I pulled it out in surprise only to find the note I'd written with the flowers.
Not everything was a lie.
I stood up suddenly. "There's somewhere I have to go."
He nodded, staring down at his coffee as if he'd suspected as much. "Go. You know where to find me."
I nodded and left, running to the train and getting off near the hospital. Then I ran to the storage closet on the third floor, but it was empty. The sight was wrong, somehow. It disturbed me.
After a moment, I ran back down to the information desk. "Is (y/n)..." I stopped. I knew from experience that she wouldn't be in the system. "Is Dr. (L/n) working right now?"
The nurse nodded. "Second floor."
***
I found him just as he was exiting a patient's room. He looked startled for a second before his face went blank, void of emotion. "How can I help you?"
"Where's (y/n)?" I asked. "It's urgent."
He stood still, watching me for a long second. "Third floor."
"I checked the closet already," I said, my tone getting sharp. "She's not there."
"Exactly," he said.
"What?"
"She's not there. She's not anywhere."
I waited a long moment. "Third floor you said?"
He nodded.
"I'm in a hurry," I said, my voice thick and strange to my own ears. "Can you give this to her?" I gave him the crumpled note.
He nodded, and I left the hospital for the last time.