In 37 Minutes

Chapter 11: Audrey

           

Audrey's POV:

I felt my erratic heartbeat take on a sharper turn; my heart was so close to beating out of my chest the longer I locked gazes with Lucas. His tired features struck out along with his bandaged nose.

Lucas slowly advanced me, precautiously gauging my reaction; afraid I'll lash out and cuss him out; little did he know; I lacked the energy.

I wasn't going to fight him on something I can't control; I can't just tie him down to me forever because we were bound together since birth. He had every right to withdraw from this hazardous friendship. He had his own life and stresses to worry about; I was just the fucking cherry on top.

"I know I acted like a complete asshole yesterday, but I –" He scoffed rubbing his neck awkwardly as he gazed at the hardwood floor in magnificence – a habit he took on since we were twelve when he couldn't face problems; particularly punishments due to my precarious antics.

"I couldn't look at you without feeling guilty." He whispered; voice so low that I had to strain to hear him out.

I didn't expect those words, not the least bit. My eyebrows knit together as confusion replaced the anxiety weighing my chest.

"What?"

Lucas chuckled shaking his head, "I'm fucking stupid aren't I?" He asked sitting on the edge of my bed right near me, grasping my limp hand.

I felt tension slither into my arm at the sparks that shot threw my arm, I almost pulled away however Lucas had other plans; he held on tight.

"Audrey, I still can't get on terms with the fact that you're paralysed, that you got so hurt when I was away. I felt immense guilt because I wasn't there to protect you, to warn you. I failed you..." Lucas' head hung down as his words proceeded, my eyes glimmered as I stared at him – god he was beating himself up so badly on something he couldn't control; even if he warned me I was hot-headed I would of done what I wanted.

"Lucas –" I tried speaking but Lucas cut me off, "No Audrey let me get it off my chest please, I don't need you to soothe me, I know that tone, I-I didn't leave because I didn't want us to be friends anymore, damn it Auds I can never do that, I love you too much to leave you, it's just seeing the scars – it made it all seem too real, the pain inflicted upon you it was too much and that wasn't enough no, you got paralysed and I wasn't there to support you when your whole life got jumbled up, when you felt betrayed, when you got mental breakdowns – your dad mentioned them and I feel even worse right now knowing that I still can't help you now, fuck, I screwed you over when you got better."

I couldn't help it when I instinctively threw myself into Lucas' arms, he seemed thrown off guard at the start but I just wanted his embrace after so long, "Promise me we'd stop fighting, or like at least tone it down." I mumbled laughing breathily.

Lucas chuckled, his chest rumbling with his hearty laugh as his arms circled tighter around me, "We seem to enjoy the drama."

"Shut up." I mumbled, running my fingers through his tousled locks as I drew my eyes shut.

"I love you, Auds." He whispered, pecking my neck then puffing, I squealed at the gesture – he knew how that always got me ticklish.

Our laughter died down, as we laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. "You know you're coming over for dinner tonight at my house?" Lucas stated, drumming his fingers against his thigh while whistling.

I pushed myself up slightly to look at him face, I raised an eyebrow.

"I told your parents to not mention it until we clear the air; you curse so much when you're angry."