fiendish heart [1]

14 。the one i loved

-

I'm scared. Kook didn't know how to stop the tears from rolling down his face. They fell slow, gradually slipping over his cheeks, leaving glistening trails that reflected the light outside. After they followed the trail created by the previous, they would soak into the collar of his shirt, wetting its front with evidence of his sorrow. He didn't know why he was crying, Taehyung had walked out on him, insisting he needed space, and the tears had just built up over time, eventually beginning to fall. Pathetically, Kook wrapped himself up in the corner of his room, squeezing his rabbit and whispering to it silently.

To see him now, he was the boy who had run away fourteen years ago. The child who lived in fear of himself, now older and experienced, however, just as afraid. „The monster keeps yelling things at me, telling me to do bad things." Kook sniffled, pressing the pad of his thumb to the area below his eyes, swallowing down the crawling anxiety that so desperately needed to escape its cage. „I keep doing bad things." The cage inside wasn't big enough anymore. Maybe when he was a child it could hold his biggest fears. Years later, his monsters had grown along with him, filling every crevice of that cage until there was no room left. Now they were trying to break the cage in order to keep on growing.

The distant movement outside his hut drew his head from his chest. He tried his best to suppress his tears, curling up tighter and pretending to sleep. He didn't want to go, not now. But he knew he had no choice. „Please." He whispered quietly just as another entered.

„Kook?" Taehyung's voice sounded, the thick soles of his boots creating dull thuds on the wooden planks holding up his weight. He stood by the door, glancing around the room until he saw the curled up boy. His eyes softened upon seeing the vulnerable position. Kook was distraught when he had tried to leave, but this was all too much for Taehyung. He needed answers, his life revolved around answers to questions he asked. Kook didn't give those answers and it frustrated him.

The slow, uneven rise and fall of Kook's retracted body brought Taehyung to assume the boy had been crying. He walked over, carefully kneeling down so that he could rest beside the boy now staying silent. „Are you going to tell me why you are afraid?"

„Please." Was all Kook responded with, fingers curling against his arms as he shuddered. „Do not make me do this..."

„I need you to show me, I need the truth, Kook. You are too weak to hold me here any longer. I'm here by choice and I want to stay, I really do." Kook's head rose steadily, his eyes surprisingly clear. His hand moved until the cold touch rested against Taehyung's warm cheeks. Grateful for the warmth, Kook clutched his face, trying his best to smile.

„I want you to stay, Taehyung, I need you to stay. The truth is hard. The real truth ..." Kook's eyes fluttered shut, a mental battle evident behind his hidden gaze. This wasn't being taken lightly. „I need to take you somewhere."

„Where?"

„Outside. To the place I first met you."

-

Every sound amplified around the silent two as they stood beneath the dark shadows of trees; the leaves that rustled in the occasional gust of wind, Taehyung's feet scuffling against the dead flora beneath their feet. Kook's heavy breathing was the one that made him fall unhinged, coming out ragged and forced, trying to keep them even. It was like each motion was intensified, pushing Kook to a brink of total break down.