fiendish heart [1]

22 。day too late

A million years could pass, and the clock would not move. The seconds hand wavered back and forth atop the bold black twelve shadowed by darkness. It became a symbol of his endless suffering in a single moment for eternity. Stuck in the fractals of time, he was waiting on something that would never come. The walls the broken clock was carelessly placed upon were eroded sandstone with desperate drawings scrawled in white chalk or a dried up blood.

HE IS GOING TO MURDER ME, SAVE ME, HE WON'T LOVE YOU, DON'T TRUS

The last was smeared with fingerprints as the crimson dripped over the rocks and pooled on the floor. The place where one of many had died, a boy who he had discarded so thoughtlessly. What was his name? He didn't remember. He could never remember any of the names of his past attempts at love. Here I was, thinking finally I found it. Now this is where I am ...

Weeks had passed with no visit, no scouting of his whereabouts and health, nothing. The trees sealed off the cavern to passers by, no one ever found the pit of pure evil. In the very centre of that pit Kook was forced onto his knees, head yanked forward into rusted bloodstained shackles. His feet locked to the sharp rocks that dug into his bare skin.

„Pick me up in your arms." He croaked out the song he had heard one day in a family owned diner. The song stuck with him like some things just did. Despite most of his life being forgotten, erased, there were certain things he never forgot; his mother's face, the poems she told him, Yugyeom. „Carry me away from harm." He hadn't known it at such a young age, but Yugyeom was his first love. Looking back now on the broken memories he had with the boy, he understood everything he felt, everything he did for the boy. He'd loved him.

„You're never gonna put me down. You'll tire before we see land."  It wasn't clear whether the liquid slipping down his cheeks was tears of melancholy or suffering. They were always there. Every second of everyday his cheeks would glisten with the beauty of his suffering.

„I've been running all my life. I ran away, ran away from good." Sometimes he wondered what would have happened if he'd stayed. If he had just controlled himself better. Would he have a love? Would Yugyeom be that love? He ran from everything good in his life, his parents gave up everything for him. How could he do that? What happened that night they came back to find their son gone?

"I've been waiting all my life. You're not a day too soon." Kook's trembling hands turned over so that his dirty stained palms held a small photograph visible in the dim lighting of dawn. In that torn up box was a boy around his age that displayed a happy smile. He held onto a trophy inscribed with the award title. It wasn't the award that made his lips tug up into a smile, but the boy's adoring chocolate eyes shining so brightly.

„Honey I will stitch you." He sang softly, croaking out the words as he rubbed a rough thumb over what little he had of Taehyung. He had not seen him in so long, abandoned by this burden of love and hatred. „Darling I will fit you in my heart." He lifted the picture to his chest, bowing his head as he let the tears fall to the floor, a bloody colour that stained the distressed denim of his jeans. „I will meet you, I will keep you in my heart."

He didn't want to run from this love anymore. Running didn't work, it caused pain and longing. He'd spent his entire life just running from a reality that scared him. Now he had to face it. "I promise I will not resist again. Promise I won't hold you down." Kook's eyes moved up to the sunlight shining in from above. There was a small gully like crack opened up across the ceiling, letting any light from outside into the cave.