The Diary

:(14):

       Dinner was the most awkward experience for everybody. Jerry's parents had come for a visit again, still bringing Jerry's mother's other lover, Jacob. Weirdest sentence ever, never thought I'd have to experience that.

       "So..." Jacob stood, "do we need to have a family gathering? Now, if y'all need to talk, I'll be your guide." Jerry and Beth were nodding enthusiastically, something new. 

       "That's it, eugh I'm going to my room. Have fun you eugh you guys." I took care of my plate and all but sprinted up the stairs before anybody could stop me. I quickly shut my door, leaning back against it for a moment before walking to my desk.

       "Guess there's eugh noth-nothing better to do."

       Morty hates me. There's no skirting around that one. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do, but I don't want this.
       It was supposed to be us, Rick and Morty a hundred years. Just Rick and Morty, travelling the whole damn universe. But he had to fall for it, the damn magic trick. Morty fucked everything up. It's not my fault, it's his. He's the one that kissed me, I had nothing to do with it. It was his choice to say that. "He'll never be you." I didn't make him say that. But I did at the same time. He said it because of me. This is my fault too.
       I did this. I chased him away, I hurt him. I'd do anything to have Morty back. I'd give anything, take anything, destroy or create anything. I'd even give up everything I stand for, just to have him back. The way he used to look at me, how he regarded me, treated me like his favorite person. I don't know why I never picked up on the fact that I was his favorite person, or why. I never caught on. God, I'm so stupid. But maybe those idiots are right. I have to do something soon, even if it goes against everything I stand for. I can't do anything knowing I broke the kid, so I'll fix him up, even if I have to destroy myself in the process.

       I slammed the dumb book shut, chucking it across the room. "This is stupid! I'm eugh I'm fucking stupid." 

       I considered calling the whole thing off, running back and telling 132 that I can't do it. Morty was done, he would never want that again. He's leaving in two weeks, but I felt as though that still wasn't enough time. 

       What am I supposed to do? He doesn't want it anymore, which is what I always wanted; for him to drop it. But he's going to leave everything behind him. Our adventures, the shit we did together, me. He is going to leave it all behind. I never dreamed it would come to this, and I never could have imagined myself in this position, ready to cry from the frustration. What's happening to me? Why can't I just drop this?
       Morty can drop it too, for all I care. I wish he would put this shit behind him, start again. I wish he would just-

       My door pressed open, "Rick?"

       I shot up from my desk, knocking a stack of papers over, "Wh-What?" I hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but I hadn't expected anybody to barge in. I started picking up the papers, tapping the edges against the desk and setting the stacks up again. "What, Mo-Morty?"

       He wandered in and helped gather the papers, stopping to stare at a few blueprints every once in a while. 

       "I'm sorry. That's all I wanted to say. I'm sorry I ever put you in this position, and I'm sorry I ever thought that was a good idea. I'm sorry I thought anything would happen."

       I remained crouched on the floor, picking up the last three sheets of paper, and watched as tears welled in the corners of his eyes. He stormed out of my room before I could get a single word out, slamming my door before his own could be heard down the hall.

       "Oh, God, Mo-Morty. I-I'm... kid, I'm sorry, too. Can't you see that?" I'd never felt so wretched in my entire life. Not once, not a single time. This kid just didn't see it. I never meant for this to happen, I never meant to break him like this, but it just never seemed right to me.

       The entire idea of a grandson wanting his grandfather in such a way was never a good thought. I had never thought, not in a million years, that I would ever find myself in this position. I thought I'd manage to avoid it indefinitely.

       But now Morty was in love with me, and that was not something easily ignored.