The Diary

:(28):

       I never knew how many phone calls it took to arrange a wedding. Even for my first, I didn't have to hang around and hear it all. Nonstop talking and arguing, setting up dates and times, arguing over payment.

       And it wasn't just one person making the calls. Beth was talking to somebody about food, Summer was screaming at another person over how expensive it was for 'a few damn photos', and Morty was calling people to tell them to come to his bachelor party. I was sitting on the couch in the living room, listening to the chaos and trying to tune most of it out.

       I'd already gotten in touch with the few people I knew who weren't monitored by the Federation. Surprisingly, I managed to get in touch with Squanchy. He's agreed to marry us, and we're holding the wedding on his home planet, just because it would take too long to find somewhere where a priest would let us use the church here on Earth. It's not easy explaining all the technicalities so many times, so it's easier to do it this way. Morty was a little upset we couldn't do it on the 132's planet, "It's so nice there." I had to explain that it would take forever to find somewhere, and I really wanted to see Squanchy. We hadn't spoken since BP's wedding disaster.

       That was another thing that scared me. Would we have a repeat of that? Would some undercover agent pop up and destroy everything, kill me or Morty? Would everything go fine, or would we find ourselves on the run again? All of these little fears had built up and I'd been finding myself more and more worried, wondering what I should do. I was losing sleep. While Morty was fine, curled up next to me and sleeping peacefully, I was staring at the ceiling or the wall, wondering what could go wrong. He'd move and I'd stop, pulled from my thinking, to wonder if maybe this is too much. But he'd sigh and settle in, and I'd realize that it was all I wanted anymore. If I had to go to the ends of the universe just to keep him with me, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

       There was nothing that could change my mind.

       The sound of something falling drew me from my thoughts and I looked down. I'd dropped the bottle that was in my hand, too lost in my thoughts to realize it was slipping. I hadn't even remembered I'd had it. As the dark liquid spilled out onto the carpet, I got up and grabbed a towel, noticing that all chatter had stopped. When I'd walked past the kitchen, three pairs of eyes were on me.

       "What?" I made my way to the living room and started to clean up the mess, scrubbing it from the carpet and setting the bottle on an end table. "Dad?"

       Standing behind me, Beth wrung her hands together while I stood with the towel and bottle held in either hand. "Are you okay?"

       I sighed and moved past her, not really sure how I was supposed to answer that. I dropped the bottle off in the kitchen and threw the towel into the wash, returning to the living room to find everybody standing there, including Jerry, who finally decided to be a part of his damn family.

       "Rick?" This time it was Morty, and he looked worried. I sat on the couch, watching them all exchange worried glances, and ran a hand down my face again.

       "I'm eugh fine, alright? Don-Don't worry about it, it's- eugh I'm fine." I reached into my pocket and pulled out my flask, thankful for the back-up alcohol. Morty wrung his hands together, looking at Summer and not knowing what to do.

       He looked back towards me and moved closer, sitting next to me on the couch. He was facing me, his body turned on an angle, and pulled the flask from my hand. "Rick, what's wrong?" His voice was hushed, worry and fear evident in his eyes. I sighed, knowing I was doing it all over again.

       "Nothing, I-I eugh I'm fine. It's fine, Morty." There was no emotion in my voice, even I'd noticed that. Morty looked ready to cry and I looked away for a moment, ashamed that I was hurting him again and failing to fix it.