Unsaid

|v|

She sat down between the two trees in her front yard whilst the dusk fell. She sighed feeling the strong warm evening winds hitting her skin.

Few feet away stood her mother chatting with the neighborhood ladies. The sister stood by the front gate as she talked to her friend. And the father fooling around with the toddler next door. Whereas she just sat there. Sighing.

Closing her eyes she slowly inhaled the air, and exhaled slowly. And repeating the process trying to control the urge of breaking down and letting the tears out of her eyes.

Reminiscing. But she wasn't even trying to recall any past events. Instead they keep replaying in back of her mind. The moments when she was left alone, when she faced a false accusations from her very own friend, and many other moments. Even the time when her parents left her at the day care, being the silent one she never had a friend; which made her now think that she has been alone from such a long time.

She wanted someone by her side. She always waited for someone to come up and talk to her. She always wished for someone. She wanted someone but feared that if she went up to someone they might not want to be with her, as friends or anything else.

She heard someone call her name. She didn't even realized she was shaking until she heard one of the ladies calling her name and asking what she was doing sitting all alone. But the lady quickly got back to her conversation when she didn't got any replied.

Maybe it wasn't the others. Maybe it was herself, only. People tried to know her, but she always pulled herself back and run away. She wanted to talk, speak up, and maybe yell out her problems but her anxiety always took control over her body, her mind.

Maybe that's why she sat there shaking and crying.

~sg