Roomies

Chapter 65

I didn't fall asleep last night. After 3 orgasms and a shower, Niall did though. He was sleeping next to me and I was just lying on my back, staring at the ceiling until I noticed the sun rising. I looked over at Niall; he was lying on his stomach with his head facing me. I stroke my finger gently over his unshaved chin and he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.

Niall: hey...

Stella: Hi.

Niall: What time is it?

I took my phone from the nightstand and saw that it wasn't that much.

Stella: It's 4.32

Niall: Why are you awake?

Stella: I couldn't sleep.

He closed his eyes again but I kept looking at him.

Niall: Try again?

I nodded, knowing he wouldn't see me but still. Then I laid down and turned to my side, facing him. I looked at him for a second before my mouth decided to take charge.

Stella: I haven't forgiven you yet.

I said quietly, Niall opened his eyes again and just looked at me.

Niall: What?

Stella: I haven't forgiv-

Niall: I heard you but I thought... last night?

Stella: Last night was nice but that doesn't mean that I have forgotten what you did.

He turned from his stomach and sat up. I did the same and looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

Niall: I've been in jail, Stella.

Stella: Yes, for a completely different crime.

Niall: But I-

Stella: You know what? Never mind.

I said and went out of the bed. Niall sat up and looked at me as I got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Niall: No, you brought it up so let's talk about it!

Stella: I don't want to fight with you Niall, not now.

Niall: Fuck that.

I walked out of my bedroom and he followed close. I wanted out of the flat before hell started but he grabbed me and stopped me.

Niall: I know I messed up Stel, but-

Stella: There's really not a place for any "but's" in an apology for cheating!

Niall: If you would just let me speak!

Stella: Fine, speak!

I walked over and sat down on the edge of the couch; he turned and looked at me.

Niall: I regret what I did so fucking much; I haven't been able to stop thinking about it...

You saw in the way he clenched his fists that he didn't mean that the way it came out.

Niall: I mean, I haven't stopped thinking about you since it happened. Like, how you'd feel and stuff.

Stella: You want to know how I feel?

He nodded and I stood up and looked at him.

Stella: I feel like a piece of shit. Like I'm just someone you can fuck and throw away when you're done with me! And I swear, you can't even imagine how many times I've cried because of you! I DON'T WANT THIS! I want a normal fucking relationship with a normal fucking guy who can actually make me feel good instead of bringing me down every chance he gets! I want a boyfriend who will wake up before me and make me breakfast, I want a boyfriend who will hold my hand and hug me and tell me I'm not as shit as I feel! I want the love and the trust, Niall... I want the romance and you are, well I don't even know if you know what romance is.