*NEHIA'S P.O.V*
"ahm... sasama nalang ako kila Leny mamaya aa? samahan mo nalang muna si Anna para makabili siya ng dress. magkita-kita nalang tayo sa mall after niyo bumili, or if matagalan naman kayo, sasabay nalang ako kila Leny pauwi, tas kita nalang tayo sa bahay" sabi ko kaagad kay Cray habang pilit na pinagmumukhang ok lang ako eventhough hindi talaga.
naka-park na yung kotse niya ang naramdaman kong natigilan niya siya after kong masabi yun sakaniya, but, i just ignore it. ayokong ma-awkward kami sa isa't isa ngayon
tsaka to be honest...
HINDI KO DIN NAMAN GUSTO YUNG SINABI KO
:(
hayyy...
kung bakit ba naman kasi ganito kami ka-complicated ngayon ee
TSK!
kaso naman kasi...
I JUST HAVE NO CHOICE.
there's nothing going on between the two of us, kaya why should i hold back others on hanging out with him diba? wala akong karapatan para hindi siya payagan diba?
IT'S WHAT I NEED TO DO.
i was about to get my bag from the backseat when he quickly stopped me.
"Nehia..." he said calmly habang hawak ang isa kong braso that caused me to stop and look at him
he's looking straight in my eyes.
the way he looks at me just makes my heart beat faster and feeling ko nalulusaw ako sa klase ng pagtitig niya sa'kin.
"what's the problem?" he asked habang hawak parin ako sa isang braso ko and he is still looking at me straight in the eye
i looked away kasi habang nakatitig siya sa mga mata ko, pakiramdam ko malalaman niya yung totoo...
but a few minutes after i looked away, he titled my head to face him
"what's going on?" he asked me once again. and this time, he's cupping my face.
and once again, he's staring at me right in the eye.
"wala." i said
and he gave me his look na ovious na hindi siya naniniwala sa sinabi ko
"wala talaga." i repeated and tried to smile it away to hide the pain i feel
yet, his expression is still as blunt as it was a while ago
wala paring expression na meron sa mukha niya,
he's still staring at me in the eyes. hoping to find the answer as he stare at my eyes
ibinitaw ko yung kamay niyang nakahawak sa mukha ko then i tilted and cupped his face and stared at him in the eyes
i could see sincerity right through his eyes.
i feel guilt
hindi kasi ako sanay na maglihim sakaniya
kaso...
ayokong malaman niya yung totoo.
hindi ko pa kaya.
what if he reject me diba?
ayoko yun
ayoko din na i-risk yung friendship namin.
sayang diba?
kaya, kahit na ayaw ko, kahit na masakit para sa'kin at kahit na labag sa kalooban kong maglihim sakaniya, i'm left with no choice but not to tell him the truth.
