Issues

Issues - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Thankfully I must have fallen asleep right after I talked with Taylor because I woke up curled up on my bed hugging my pillow with my phone in my hand. I wasn't even under the blankets and sheets. I realized I was completely freezing and wrapped myself in a blanket as I shuffled downstairs clenching my phone in my hand. I didn't even bother checking my phone but my hand was like a vice surrounding it; not letting it go but having no intention of allowing me to check it or use it for that matter.

As soon as I hit the ground after the final step, the sounds of Saturday morning rushed to me filling my ears with the familiar voices of kids, clanging plates, and food being cooked. I could pick apart my mother's frantic footsteps against my dad's slow calm ones as they tried to get a nice breakfast on the table for my siblings who were most likely sitting at the table. I could hear their screams about who sat where and who got what plate. Childish, what else could you expect from the young ones. I instantly wondered whether or not Anthony decided to grace us with his presence this morning. What did it matter anyway?

"Morning Kaya," my mother chimed as she flipped a pancake.

I noticed that she wasn't looking as she normally did. Instead of business attire or even casual but stylish clothes, she wore her pajamas that hung over her like a tent. Her short blonde hair was not styled like normal. She hadn't done anything to it like she would on any other day. Today it was her natural wavy hair, I knew that's where my hair got its texture but the color was not from her. It wasn't from my dad either. His hair was a light milky brown. It reminded me of the color of brown sugar that I would use when my mother had actually paid attention to her kids and baked cookies with us - or more specifically me.

I guess she'd run out of the energy and love needed to really care for us in the way a parent should care for a child. I'm not talking about food, money, or shelter or things like that. I'm talking about quality time, bonding time. Where she would make sure she knew all our favorite colors and foods. She would know all our friends and all the drama that would happen at our early ages. She tried her best though, to be that mother she once was, but she didn't realize that her best wasn't the best for us. Not that she would take the time to figure that out anyways.

"Morning," I muttered as I dragged myself over to the empty seat next to Tanya.

My dad stalked over and set down a plate of pancakes. He was a few inches taller than my mother's 5'3" frame. He was 6' tall and muscular, but he was soft not rock hard muscles but they were definitely there. He used to be an all star baseball player, until a minor injury set him back and steered him into a new career path. He had changed careers so many times before he finally settled on being a lawyer. He excelled at everything he tried which was why it was hard for him to find his true calling.

Baseball was his first dream. It was all he ever worked at. If you really could eat, live, breathe, and sleep a sport, then that was my dad with baseball. He used to tell us stories about how he missed out on being a kid because all he focused on was baseball. Sure he'd come to regret it a little now, but in his opinion it was the greatest thing he could have ever done. Instead of going out with friends, he stayed home and practiced out back. Or instead of asking that girl out on a date, he went to the gym and started working the muscles he needed to work to get better at that certain baseball skill he just seemed to have to master in the shortest amount of time. He always wanted to challenge himself.

Challenging himself ended up being the problem in the end. He was trying to be the best he could be even if that meant pushing yourself to insanity. One day he was practicing his pitching skills because that was the position he liked most. He was pushing to get a faster fastball. He worked on this day and night. That one day though he threw the pitch so hard he dislocated his shoulder. This set him back a little and that made him realize that maybe all the fun and games were over. That baseball had served its purpose in his life and now this was a sign telling him to move on and try something new. So that's exactly what he did.