Stay (ManxBoy)

Chapter Seventeen - I Do

Mágoa:

(n.) A heartbreaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces, visible in gestures and facial expressions.

 
Chapter Seventeen – I Do

 
05-05-2015

 
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‘It’s almost time man. Say bye to your freedom.’ Tom -a long lost friend of mine- says jokingly as he gives me a pat on my back. I try to give him a small smile in return, but nothing works out for me. Something in the back of my mind says that everything will be alright and I’ll leave the past in the past. But another part of me wants to run away before the ceremony can start.

Somewhere I had hoped that Evan would have reacted to my invite, so that I wouldn’t be alone on this day. But what a fool am I for thinking that someone who likes me wants to see me getting  married to someone else. I am selfish for inviting him, but I feel like I am allowed to be right now.

‘Hey man, no need to look so stressed. Alana and I have been married for over five years and we’re still OK.’ Tom’s words don’t really reassure me at all and I can only feel myself getting more and more nervous. Tom seems oblivious to it as he once more gives me a pat before walking off, leaving me alone in the dressing room.

For a while I just stand here, looking outside to see the guests  slowly start coming in. It’s a distraction really, so I don’t have to think about the consequences that my proposal will make. In less than half an hour all those people will be watching Charlotte and me stating our vows and promise each other our hearts. And all of these people will make sure I will treat her just like I did before, but then with even more respect.

I let out a deep breath as I see my parents parking their car and walking towards the entrance of the church, both with big, proud smiles on their faces. They seem to be more excited than I am and I don’t really blame them. Their son finally seems to be doing something right by marrying the love of his life, if only they knew.

A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts and I look around confused for a second. I shake my head in frustration as I open the door and come eye to eye with Grace.

‘What do you want Grace?’ I ask as I see her concerned expression.

‘Alexander you can’t do this. You love someone else.’ For just a second I let my eyes widen and I can feel my heart beat quicker. There is no possible way she can know. I compose myself in the blink of an eye and as controlled as I can I tell her another lie.

‘What are you talking about Grace? I love Charlotte you know that.’ As she cracks a smile I’m ready to knock her down, but of course she wouldn’t have known. She wraps her arms around me and brings me into a brief hug.

‘I’m just kidding Alexander, chill. I’m just here to congratulate you and to tell you that Father Joseph’s waiting for you.’ I slowly push her away from my body and she lets out a laugh at my uncomfortable expression.

‘I’ll see you in a minute.’ She says before she disappears from my view. I take one last deep breath before walking out of the small room, not forgetting to close the door behind me.

As I enter the church everyone goes quiet and I get more nervous as I come closer to the alter and the fact that Father Joseph is waiting for me doesn’t make it any easier. As I stand in front of him he gives me a small nod as a welcome before he returns his focus to the door.

And then it opens and I have never felt my heart beat as fast as it does right now.

A lump forms in my throat as I see her walking down the aisle with her father walking along sides to her, their arms locked together. It’s almost impossible not to notice how her dress fits perfectly on her petite frame. With the long vail that’s floating behind her which makes her seem even more fragile than she is. A couple of bridesmaids follow her, making sure to avoid stepping on the dress as they look down at the ground.