Stay (ManxBoy)

Chapter Eighteen - Lock You Up

Habromania:

(n.) Delusions of happiness.

Chapter Eighteen - Lock You Up

06-02-2015

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It wasn't life changing, or really infective seen my daily life. Once the wedding was over my life almost went back to normal, except from the fact that I was now known as the husband of. But it didn't change anything other than the ring on my finger and the knowledge that people have about us.

We didn't have sex that night, we didn't even talk about it at all and secretly I couldn't be happier about that.

Charlotte is happily married and more peppy than ever before. I have seen her laugh thousands of times, but never did she seem to be so happy when she saw me. When I come back home she seems to be on cloud nine, as if I'm everything to her.

A month has gone by in the blink of an eye and still I have not yet dared to text Evan. Something inside of me tells me I really can't do this to Charlotte, I am married now after all. But another part of me desperately wants to see him and that part always seems to win when it comes down to this. I feel alive when I'm with him and I simply don't care what I normally do when he's around.

And every break I have on work I spend staring at my phone, contemplating whether I should text him or not. Though it seems so easy to just press on his name and contact him again, like I did so many times just a few months ago, it's so much harder now. Only looking at his name makes things harder and I don't want him to feel used. But maybe he doesn't even want to see me like that anymore. Maybe he just said I could contact him so we could be friends and make it more freaking impossible to live like this.

Even now while I'm sitting outside with my mother and Charlotte, I can't stop thinking about him. But they won't let me go too far in my mind, because there's still something we haven't done yet. Everyone insists that we should go on a honeymoon, but I simply don't want to go anywhere, knowing that Evan's here. And luckily Charlotte doesn't seem too excited either. We're both just content with staying right here.

'Alexander, I can't believe you haven't planned anything yet. Your grandparents would be ashamed of you.' My mother speaks up and I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her.

'Mother my grandparents are all dead, I think you're the one who's ashamed really.' Charlotte keeps her hand in front of her mouth out of respect, trying not to show my mom how she agrees with me.

'And Charlotte dear, why haven't you pleaded him to take you somewhere?' For a minute Charlotte looks shocked that my mom talks over it so easily, but she regains herself quickly.

'Because I don't feel the need to go on a honeymoon, Esther. I am happy that we're married and I feel content right where we are.' Her voice is polite, but I can see how badly she wants to laugh and tell her it's none of my mother's business.

'I think you're just being modest.' My mother says as she stands up from her seat.

'I'll be going now, but I'll see you somewhere next week.' I stand up and give her a kiss on her cheek, not really caring about the whole goodbye. She gives Charlotte a hug and whispers something into her ear -probably about the honeymoon again- before disappearing through the gate.

'She has a strong opinion.' Charlotte says with a nod of her head as she picks up the used glasses from the table.

'A strong opinion, more like a pain in the ass.' I see her trying to hold back her laughter as she looks at me sternly, but she fails dismally. With a shake of her head she goes back inside and I frown in confusion as my phone goes off.

I take it out of my pocket and stare at it for a while as I see Evan's number on my screen, but my hands act before my mind can connect. I open his text and let a small smile settle on my face.

To: [Me]

From: [Evan Knight]

2:12 p.m.

It's been a month and I still haven't heard from you yet? ;)

I smile as I recognize the familiar text. Almost the same as I send him the first time we really met up. I keep looking dumbly at my phone as I try to figure out what to say to him. Hi yeah Evan, awkward, but I kinda sorta am really confused and yeah that's it. I don't think that will work out.

To: [Evan Knight]

From: [Me]

2:21 p.m.

I didn't think you would really want me to.. ;)

I feel like the corniest asshole on earth. Why shan't I just tell him that I didn't dare to? I'm not made for this, I'm way too nervous to function correctly.

I take a deep breath as I sit down again on the chair, not caring that it's getting colder and my toes are freezing.

To: [Me]

From: [Evan Knight]

2:22 p.m.

Meet up with me?

My eyes widen at his sudden bluntness, but I can't help but feel flattered by it. I desperately want to see him and this here is my opportunity. But do I want to do this to him? The answer is no, but I do want to see him and be with him. And as long as he doesn't officially cut the ties, I'll be selfish and keep him by my side.

To: [Evan Knight]

From: [Me]

2:25 p.m.

Next two weeks will be busy, I can visit you in my breaks?

I almost feel bad for having to say this, but there's no way I can stay away from work much longer. I have been going three days a week simply because I'm lazy as hell.

To: [Me]

From: [Evan Knight]

2:29 p.m.

25th in the bar? And of course in your breaks... :)

I smile and send him a simple reply, not needing to say much more to him.

To: [Evan Knight]

From: [Me]

2:30 p.m.

See you then! X

For a second I regret putting the X behind it, but then again if he doesn't like it he'll let me know. Because even though he seems shy and still, he can be very demanding if he wants to. And I couldn't have been more happy with him.

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A/N: LOVE.
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