When You Were My Sister

Chapter Two (I want to know her)

  Neima   

My chest was tight with grief and unshed tears. I wanted to weep for my father, to mourn the years we spent apart in our own stubbornness. I want to mourn for the time I could have spent with him but didn't and now I will never have. Oh, how I missed my daddy and the moments we had. It felt like a life time ago when I walked out of my childhood home, vowing never to return. It nagged me that I had to return on such an occasion. I wished I had seen him before he died. From what Auntie Mora, had told me over the phone, he had died suddenly from a massive heart attack out on the farm. God could never have chosen a more fitting place to have taken him. He loved his farm. When I was a teenager and still in his good grace, I used to joke about him dying on his farm. It wasn't so funny anymore, now that it happened.

My husband James rubbed my shoulder soothingly, massaging the tension from them. I had been tense the moment I saw them, Mama and Nola in the church. They hadn't seen us, but I saw them. I saw their grief and I felt it deep in my heart. When we got to the cemetery I stood behind them and yet still they did not notice me. I had so many opportunities to reach out to them, but I did not even know where to start.

When they lowered daddy's body into the ground and the singers started another song, Mama turned, our eyes met and I was rendered immobile. Recognition was evident in her eyes, then pain clouded them.

Auntie Mora said something to her, she looked away. Nola stared at me, there was no recognition in her eyes. She had been so young when I left, she has grown into a beautiful young woman. She shared the same mocha brown skin as mama, I knew her eyes were a shade of honey brown behind her sunglasses. She had high cheekbones, flawless skin, perfectly arched brows and full raspberry shaded lips. She was so tall, as tall as I was in my four inch heels. She had a model's figure, she should be on the cover of Teen Vogue. She wore a black and red floral dress that matched my mother's dress. Mama took Nola's hand pulling her along with her as she walked away, like she had not seen me. In that moment, I felt like my heart had broken into a million pieces.

Auntie Mora in her eccentric way, fluttered over to where we were standing.

"As I live and breathe, Neima!" She squealed with her arms held wide.

"Auntie." I opened my arms to accept her warm embrace. She hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek. I got a waft of her rum breath.

"I am so happy you made it." She held my face between her hands.

I smiled at her. "I would never miss my father's funeral Auntie."

She dropped her hands from my face. "Well, I am just happy to see you." She looked at James, Avery and Naomi expectantly. "And the family." She added.

"James, so good to finally get to meet you." Auntie Mora pulled James along with Naomi into her arms for a hug.

"It's good to finally get to meet you too." He said courteously.

"Although I wish it was under other circumstances." She gave me a disappointed look.

My eyes caught mama and Nola getting into the car. Nola stared at me from the passenger seat. I could not see her eyes but I could feel them analyzing me, I stared back at her. She looked away before I could.

"Samuel would have loved to get to know you." Auntie Mora continued.

"I would have liked that too, but I know it is too late for that. I am sorry for your loss." James eyes were solemn.

James would have liked dad, if he had gotten the opportunity to meet him. I was to be blamed for that. I placed an arm around Avery's shoulders. "This is Avery, my stepson. Avery this is my Auntie Mora."