When You Were My Sister

Chapter Ten (Lie as hard as you can)

Neima 

Mama's mouth gapped open at my words. She turned to Nola, a sadness in her eyes.

"Nola, I never cheated on your father."

"Then who is my father?" She had an adamant look on her face.

"Your father is the man we buried." Mama said plainly.

If ever there was an opportunity to tell the truth, this was it. I really wanted to just let it out, but I was not ready. It was hard to believe that after eighteen years I was still a coward, that I still hide behind lies. I wish I could compel my lips to open and tell the truth. I felt like that scared seventeen-year-old child again.

"I deserve to know Mama." Nola pleaded.

"No." Mama put up a warning finger. "Don't push this matter Nola or you will be heading down a very dark path."

"I am old enough to handle the truth. Whatever it is I will forgive you." Nola said.

Mama shook her head, she looked at me. She looked so broken and worn. "I do not deserve forgiveness." She walked out of the kitchen up the stairs.

"I should go wash up." Avery said walking out.

Nola dropped herself down on a bar stool. Sighing heavily, she ran a hand through her hair. I took the stool beside her, rubbing her back.

"It will be fine Nola." I said.

"Is it? Did you know about daddy not being my real father?" Her voice sounded small and she looked so innocent.

I could carry on to look her in the eyes and lie, but my heart was breaking for her.

"Yes."

Nola shook her head, she released a sarcastic laugh. "I knew it. So, can you tell me who my real father is?"

"I don't know him." This lie came easier.

"So, mama did cheat on daddy."

"Yes." What was I doing? I knew better than this.

Nola's eyes opened wide in shock. "You ever saw him?"

I saw him every time I looked into her honey brown eyes.

"No." How was I ever going to come back from these lies?

"Did dad know?"

"Maybe you should let this go Nola." I hated myself for what I was doing to her.

"Are you defending Mama now?"

"No, I am protecting you."

"From what? I am tired of people tiptoeing around me." She slapped the countertop angrily.

I flinched a little startled by her reaction. "I know, but in time I think mama will tell you the truth Nola, just give her some time."

She looked at me with renewed interest. "Did you leave because you knew about it?"

"Yes, it was part of the reason I left."

"You left because of me?"

How she came to that conclusion was beyond me. A circle of lies that found its way to a single truth.

"No. I left because I had issues, deep issues that I would not be able to handle if I had stayed here." At least it was close enough to the truth.

"I am really glad you are here Neima. It feels so much better having a sister to share this all with. Mama and daddy are great but having you feels different."