Chapter Thirteen
Shannay's Point of View
I sobbed all the way home. I felt like shxt. I felt like I wanted to die. I felt used and unloved. I got into my house. No one was home. I went in the cupboard to find a rope. I wanted to hang myself. I couldn't find one I cried. I ran to the bathroom and just trashed the whole place up. I fell to the floor and cried some more. Something caught my eye. Razor. I picked it up. My nose was running and my head was thinking bad thoughts. My eyes was burning and I just wanted to do some kind of harm to myself. I slit my right wrist. Watching the blood from my hands pour out and dripping on the floor. It hurt. Then the doorbell rang. I didn't want to answer it so I remined on the floor and sobbed. 'Why me' all I was thinking.
"Shan... its Danny. I know you in there open up" he shouted from outside. I walked to the door and unlocked it and then walked into the living room. He open the door called my name, "Shannay". I didn't reply. I sat on the sofa and then gazed into space. He walked into the living room and then looked upon me.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I didn't reply. He looked on the floor and saw drops on blood. He looked at my wrist and then came towards me and then said,
"Did you do this to yourself?" Still I didn't answer. The moved my face so I an look at him.
"Shan what did you do" he said again. I cried. He ran into the bathroom to get something to wipe my wrist.
"Did someone do this to you babes" he said as he wiped up the slit and the wrapped it with his bandana.
"No I done it" I said.
"Why?"
"Cause of Jordan... He cheated on me again" I sobbed.
"Like I said before he's a dxckhead man" he snapped.
"But I thought he loved me" I sobbed some more.
"Babes he doesn't deserve you and he don't deserve tears from you. No man should ever make their gyal cry" he said. He took me by the hand.
"I would never do that to you Shan. He don't deserve you like I do. I'll treat you good babes trust" he said. I couldn't function properly. But all I know he sounded sweet and he really cared. All I needed to do is be loved. I thought Jordan loved me but he didn't. All that love I showed him she didn't want it, he didn't need it. I need that type of love. Danny is showing me that. I need the love right now.
"Have me" I said.
"What?" he questioned.
"I said have me. Lets have sex right now" I said. He look confused.
"What right now? In a time like this"
"Yes" I quickly answered.
"Nah man Shan. That's not right" he replied.
"What are you gay then" I provoked.
"Nah I just have more respect for you innit" he replied.
Then I thought to myself. He really does care. He's sexy and he wants me. Jordan is a bastard he don't want me why am I still wasting my time for him. I kissed Danny and then smiled.
"Thank you Danny" I said. He smiled and then stood up.
"Come" he said with his hands out. I took his hand and I stood up.
"What?" I said.
"Come... let me take you out" he said. I smiled and then came out our yard. We walked to the bus stop and then took the bus one stop because we was too lazy to walk it. We came off the bus and then went to the less bait park. We just jammed and then took a walk. He was bare taking my head off Jordan and making me happy. I loved every minute of it.
"So I take it your gunna be going to school more often" he said. I laughed,
"Yeah I guess so"
"That's good for me, I miss you when you gone" he said.
"Aww... getting all lotion on me now yeah?" I said.
"Maybe I am. I don't find it lotioning though" he said.
"Alright what do you call it then?" he said.
"I'll call it expressing my feelings towards me. More like being honest with myself" he said.
"Aww... you too good for me" I said.
"Why do you say that"
"Because I havent had someone like you that's bare honest"
"Everyday you learn something new. Maybe you can try something new as well"
"Hmm... I might take that into consideration"
He smiled and then stopped walking and then faced me and I did the same. He kissed me and his presence around me felt so warming like I was safe. I liked that feeling a lot. Then I had a image of Jordan lipsing me and holding me. I had a image in my head when we was having some good sex, when we first me and whe to took my virginity. I had a image of him looking concerned today when I was upset and when he really cared. I stopped lipsing Danny and then looked on the ground.
"This is a little fast for me" I said.
"Don't worry. It's kool. I understand. Lets just take it slow" he replied.
Well continued to start walking and then I had a image of Jordan telling me he cheated on me for the first time. I had a image when he told me he got a girl pregnant. I had a image when he hit me. I wanted to cry but Danny took my mind off it by talking. I liked Danny a lot. He was really helping me. Then we bust the corner. I stopped my tracks.
"Shannay?" she said.
