Flaws and All

(Chpt.12-04) Talking it out👥

Chapter Twelve
-With You At Last-
~~~~~~~
(Dyme's Pov)

Letting Jay inside the house, I stepped aside and closed the door when he came in finally. Suddenly he came up to me with his arms out, scaring me a bit to the point I flinched and jumped back against the wall. I covered my face when he realized what had just happened and stepped back himself.

My heart was racing and everything. I guess I was still afraid of him a bit...and now he saw it for himself as I tried to hide. I was feeling ashamed and a little embarrassed, but there's no secret that I was definitely still keeping my walls up.

"You're really scared of me huh?" he asked in a soft sad tone.

I sighed. "I just didn't expect you to hug me so suddenly" I said, trying to clean it up.

"I'm sorry, I just won't....touch you okay. You don't have to be afraid of me Dyme,.....I'm not that guy anymore, I promise"

"Okay....but....can you just back up over there please"

He sighed and stepped back for me, leaving me to show my face again fully.

"Can we just sit and talk?" He suggested.

"I'm listening...., I'm fine standing up but you can sit" I offered. "How did you find me? How did you even get out?"

"My mom bailed me out, but that's not important" he said.

"So you finding out where I live at is not important? Just tell me how you did. I was all the way in Miami so how in hell did you find my exact house in California. Did Kehlani tell you!? That fucking–"

"So you ain't want me to find you?!"

"Why would I, Jay!? You corrupted my house in the first place, I was trying to get away!"

He looked down. "Maybe I should just go..."

I looked away from him, hearing him sound like he was getting emotional. It always broke my heart when men cried about something...

"I'm sorry for coming here okay, I was trying to fix everything I did but I guess I can't. You won't even move away from the door because you're afraid of me, Dyme. I'm sorry. How many times do I gotta say that I'm sorry for you to believe that I wouldn't hurt you. You know I wouldn't, Diynara....you know me. The real me. I'm sorry I got under some shit and choked and punched you, but it wasn't me in there. I care about you, I love you more than anything. I would never intentionally hurt you D, how can I prove that to you if you give me a chance to. I think I deserve a chance. I stayed in jail for months...crying and grieving over the loss of you and my family. I got my ass beat because niggas found out I hit my girl, then they hit me....and broke a few of my ribs for it. But I deserved that, any man that hits a female does. I was suffering in there and I had no one to go to. I lost everything in a matter of days and weeks....but now I'm out and I can't seem to redeem myslf. At least I'm trying, you know. If I didn't love you even after you left me in jail to suffer...I wouldn't be fucking here. I came straight to California to look for you,...I got out of jail yesterday. But you and Des were my first priority. If I wanted to hurt you again......,don't you think I would've done it at the door and save the talking for later"

I was speechless to say anything about his confession, which caused me to remain quiet and look down from him, teary eyed. He's really been through a lot and now I'm just being a bitch and a monster. I was trying to think of something sweet to say back but, my silence gave him the wrong impression...