*8*
In a snap
"Are you ready?"
Napatigil ako sa paglalagay ng mga gamit ko sa maleta. Napatingin ako sa nagsalita sa likod ko.
Umawang ang pinto sa pagsilip sa akin ni Heidi sa kwarto ko sa apartment nila ni Nurse Amy.
"Yes, I haven't been in the Philippines since I was a kid. It's good to be back."
I don't even remember what Philippines looks like. This is the best for me. A new environment for a new life.
Its been a few weeks after I woke up from having been comatose for three years.
I cried a lot after knowing everything that happened. Nagmukmok lang ako sa ospital habang tuluyang nagpapagaling dahil may ilang tests at therapy pa ako bago tuluyang makalabas.
Pero gumaling man ako, masakit pa rin sa dibdib lahat ng nangyari.
In the end, it wasn't me who left them.
I was the one left alone.
"Are you sure about this?"
Don't ask me that question, Heidi. I don't want to argue.
You don't know how hard it is to stand by with this decision.
To leave after everything has changed.
"I already made up my mind a few days ago. Sasama na ako sa inyo. Isa pa, there's nothing here to keep me in Cali."
All my life I've lived here in San Fransisco. I love all things familiar 'cause I can't easily adapt to change especially this kind of change—this life-changing. So I have to leave..
.. or I'll just be haunted by countless memories if I stay.
Bumalik ang atensyon ko sa pag-aayos hanggang sa marinig ko ang pag-upo nya sa kama malapit sa akin.
"But you still haven't settled things yet with Anthony, right? Don't you want to talk to him again?"
There's nothing to settle. Nothing's gonna change after what I heard before I left the hospital.
Para saan pa? Will he break the engagement para sa akin?
Why was he even engaged in the first place?
Nawalan na ba talaga sya ng pag-asa na magigising pa ako kaya naghanap na sya ng iba?
But he promised me.
He will always be there for me. At the end of the day, he will always come back to me.
Ngunit hindi na sya nagpakita pa sa akin pagkatapos niyang ipagtapat 'yung kataksilan nya.
He deprived me of his reasons.
Pero kahit ano pa man 'yon, hindi ko naman 'yun kailangan!
Dahil sya 'yung kailangan ko. I want him back.
"Will he chase after me kapag nalaman nyang aalis ako ng bansa? Pipigilan nya ba ako, Heidi?"
