We Are One || Bellamy Blake [1]

XII. My Fault

CHAPTER 1X12

XI. My Fault 

A lot of dead people or pieces of them.

The vegetation had been destroyed in that place and there were only parts of the dropship, body parts - all life had been destroyed in that place. There was nothing pretty around them anymore, just death and chaos.

Bellamy Blake was watching Clarissa from far way. He couldn't put the finger on it. His relationship with her had changed, yes. But something else was different. She was different.

Soon that morning, he had seen her leave the dropship, a weird feature on her face. No joy. There was an agony underlying her shoulder extension. Not that Clarissa had a reason to be different, her childhood friend had been murdered by a little girl she cared about and also killed herself in front of her. She had learned the hard way what happens with public information. And now her mother was dead too. Clarissa was breaking.

Bellamy had stopped in the middle of the territory just to look at her. He felt weird, worried. He wondered if he should go to her, maybe offer her some comfort, even tho he didn't know if she wanted his.

Bellamy walked to her anyway.

"How are you doing?" He asked, not wanting to sound too desesperate.

"Great." Clary glanced at him, a sarcastic tone telling him everything he needed to know; she was nervous and scared, "My Mom is dead, Clarke hates me. Even tho she doesn't know what I did for her... Everyone thinks everything I touch turns into gold, but everything I touch shutters. That's the truth."

Bellamy was surprised at the fact that she was confessing to him out of all people, "You were just trying to protect her, she'll understand. Besides, you're doing the best you can."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Bellamy." Clarissa found herself looking up to him, getting lost on her own words, "Clarke was locked up on the Ark to protect me and then... then I wanted to break her out. They said that it was my fault... so..."

Bellamy didn't need to ask what got her to be locked up, he didn't need to press the subject. The only time he asked her was back at that cave, before she killed someone for the first time, for him. Clarissa wanted to tell him, and that brought some joy to Bellamy.

"I beat up a guard." She was not proud, "So I was arrested. It was so bad I thought he was gonna die. He almost did. My Mom saved him. I saved your soul, she said to me when she came visit me on the cell for the first time." Clary looked down in shame, "Look at my soul now,"

Bellamy noticed how vulnerable she was.

She was trusting him with a piece of her, with an emotion that was sucking the life out of her. He wanted to held Clary's hand, to show her he recognized the feeling somehow. Bellamy had never heard about what happened to her, of course there were whispers but that's all it was.

He gave in and grabbed her hand, caughting her by surprise, "I'm sorry."

Clarissa smiled softly at him, and squeezed his hand, "Don't tell anyone please. I don't want anyone thinking I'm worse than what they already think I am."

"Hey," Bellamy stepped closer to her, there was almost no space left between them; it wasn't the first time, and this time they wanted to kiss each other just as badly too but fought it, "you're not bad. It doesn't matter what your sister and the rest of your friends think, you did the right thing. Our people are thankful for what you have done for them, I know I am."