Flesh and Bone ◇ Bucky Barnes ◇

Chapter XV: Blood Red

Joana

It was much easier to tell how time passed when Joana knew when Dinner and Breakfast was, when she could see the changing of light outside her tinted window. Days passed into weeks passed into months. She spent more and more time with the woman called Natalia and the Soldier. She found that sometimes, even though all three of them were supposed to be super soldier assassins, they even laughed together. It wasn't much laughter, but it was some. Joana, I will have to tell you, was blinded against something that was brewing the man who once loved her and the woman she now called friend.
Every night, once he had finished with the Wolf Spiders, Natalia would come to the training room to talk with him. It started that she would talk with him about strategy and how to fight better. She wanted to be better than all the other girls, and she was willing to give up her nights to do that. She said that she liked his way of fighting better than Joana's, simply because hers was too animalistic. They would fight for hours. Their hot breath would fog of the glass. They would fight until her body screamed and she could no longer move. He would help her to her room and say nothing of it the next day.
All of this happened under Joana's nose, simply because she did not think it possible.
I assume you would all like to hear of the day Joana found out that those long nights of fighting turned suddenly into something else, and this red haired woman had managed to break the Soldier, but, alas, that story has yet to come.

The days passed as quickly as they did slowly. It felt as if Joana had been at the Red Room for years, but at the same time, it felt like a few mere days. She could not describe it. She was ashamed at the pride she felt when she saw the Wolf Spiders and the Black Widows succeeding. She hated the way she clapped and encouraged during the matches. She burned with anger every time she cheered when a Black Widow bit a Wolf Spider so hard he started to bleed, because Joana taught her that. She was impressed that her young friend was getting increasingly better and better every day, so much more than the other Black Widows. That was true pride.
When Joana wasn't in charge of training anyone, she would sit in on the ballet lessons and watch Mistress teach the girls to dance. They were graceful and beautiful and elegant. Natalia was wonderful. Natalia offered to teach Joana to dance, to which Joana was extremely happy. However, the true reason Natalia asked was so she could ask Joana about the man she was falling in love with.
"How long have you known the Soldier?" She asked once, while they rested. Joana sipped her water and looked away from Natalia, feeling that the lighthearted mood suddenly changed.
"I don't think I'm supposed to say, Natalia," she told the woman. Natalia smiled.
"Come on, Joana. We're spies. We break the rules." Joana turned to looked Natalia in the eyes.
If only you knew, she thought. If only you knew that breaking the rules might cost you your life.
"I have known him since I was 12," Joana said.
"That long?"
"Yes."
"So you knew him before he was the Winter Soldier."
Joana felt her throat tighten. She looked down at the water in her hands.
"Yes. I knew him before he was the Winter Soldier."
"What was his name?"
"His name was James. James Barnes."
"Why don't you call him James, then?"
"When we were younger, our group of friends all called him Bucky. Pierce says I'm not allowed to call him either James nor Bucky in case he starts to remember his old life. Remember me." Joana felt her nose burn. No, she would not cry in front of this girl. It had been nearly a year since she cried, and she would not allow herself to slip up now.
"I'm sorry, Joana," Natalia said, her voice suddenly sorrowful instead of questioning. "I lost my brother when I came here. I haven't seen him since I was 7."
Joana looked over at the woman beside her, who also looked like her eyes were full of tears. Joana grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"We can do this, Natalia."
She looked at Joana and in that moment, Joana realized that Natalia wasn't the perfect soldier. She wasn't the perfect spy. Natalia didn't want to be a Black Widow. Natalia Romanova wanted to dance, not kill.