The Hidden Mind

Use To

You were gold to me

The purest pleasure

My gooddess of dreams and everything I imagined

But the blood that pumped through your veins was full of pain

Tell me do you know what it even means to feel love

To be clothed in success, money and wicked sweet sex

Cause I can imagine all of you and your sweet scents

But i was once told dont let nobody convince you of a love you can't feel

Cause babygirl fuck what you can hear, a love ain't real when you can't feel

The inside of your stomach turning, the palms of your hands sweating

Oh baby you know

Leaping across the room to check your phone, just hoping that missed call was there call

But it was never you

So tell me, was it me ?

Was I just so inadequate ? Does it mean that I bought to much to the plate

But I thought you were the same one to say I wasnt too much for you cause you had two hands to handle me with

I ... gave ... you ... ME
And you gave me shame

Shame of knowing I gave you alot ma
Shame of knowing I could never get me back now

I could never get my virginity back

Damn that was deep I know

But I could have swore we made promises after 2 weeks to be everything our others wasn't

More than just warm thighs to sink in and a mind to go over with a fine tooth comb

Baby I let you in

But you were false hope

Stop waiting for it to make sense they said, after everytime I asked my friends if I was tripping

See I was trying to convince myself

Believe that you was still perfect

But I couldn't keep using that as a excuse to leave the door open

She said it wasnt closure that I was seeking

It was the hope and the love that despite all that went on, with everything that went wrong it could all go back right just like once before 

So yeah, I use to love you more

So I apologize

To allow you to think I couldnt love myself more

Ooo that was a lie cause I obsess over myself more & more

Yes, I'm right I use to

Use to love you more