The new boy

Not Again

After agreeing to get help for his addiction, Robbie was safely checked into rehab in America. Everyone thought it'd be best to go outside the uk considering he's not that well known in America. He felt he's let everyone down, especially Gary.

Gary on the other hand only wanted to help Robbie no matter how much it hurt to watch him constantly hurt himself. Watching Robbie do that to himself was like the indescribable pain he could never wish on his worst enemy, for years his enemy was Robbie but underneath everything laid the love that would surface again someday but he never thought he'd see that day. He felt like it was down to him to keep Robbie safe, even after everything they've shouted at each other, every nasty thing they've said about each other he still feels responsible somewhat for Robbie. Promising him he'd always keep him safe was the only promise Gary is willing to keep.

"How'd you sleep" Gary broke the silence, he sat in the chair in Robbies room in the rehab clinic. It was small, big enough for a bed, chair and TV. Robbie just sat on his bed, back against the wall with his knees up against his chest arms around them hugging his knees. He didn't know what to say, Robbies never sort of what to say but he just can't form a sentence to Gary.

"Come on lad, speak to me. You came to me remember" Gary pushed leaning forward in his chair resting his hands on his thighs getting ready to stand up and leave, just as he stood up he heard the most vulnerable fragile voice he's ever heard

"I feel so alone"

"What...?"

"I feel so alone" Robbie repeated from behind his knees not even looking up at Gary. The older man sat back down running his hand through his hair "Robbie.."

"Don't say 'you're not alone you have me' because i don't Gary we threw all that away because we were too fuckin young and stupid"

His words cut through Gary like a blade, how could he ever think Gary would just leave him? He loves him and that'll never change

"Will you just listen for once in your fuckin life, at least try" Gary snapped standing up again and walked over the bed kneeling down in front of the broken man "just listen to me please..." he said a bit softer placing his hand on Robbies kneecap "you do have me, even if you don't want me I'm not leaving you again. You can kick you can shout I'm not leaving Robbie, not again" Gary didn't care what robbie said or did now, he wasn't leaving him no matter what. Robbie lifted his head and his face was covered with tear stains "did you even sleep last night rob" Gary gently asked whipping a tear from under the younger mans eye, all Robbie gave was a soft head shake indicating he hasn't slept much to Gary's dislike "you need to sleep mate" Gary gently smiled

"Mate" Robbie repeated "I'm your mate?"

"Yeah...What else do you want to be?"

"Everything" Gary dipped his head knowing he can't go back there, not yet. Robbie needs to get clean they both know that. In all fairness he is getting clean, it's his first week in rehab so it's pretty rough at this stage. Scratching the back of his head Gary had an idea, not a great one but an idea nonetheless. If it helps Robbie it's a good idea in Gary's mind

"What about if I stay? Help you sleep?"

"Good luck nothing gets me to sleep" Robbie weakly smiled as Gary fully laid down on the bed after taking his shoes off "c'mere" Gary instructed with his hands opening his arms he just looked at Robbies emerald green eyes waiting for him to join him, it was a risk he knows that but Robbie needs to sleep and well Gary knows how to get him there "G.Gary...I.."

"Just shut up and come here" this time Robbie let his knees down from his chest and quickly curled up into the side of Gary. The older mans arm going round Robbies shoulders as Robbies head rested on the muscular chest. Gary ran his free hand through Robbies slightly overgrown black hair earning a small sigh from the younger man "sleep Robbie, I'm here I'm not leaving" Gary whispered into his hair as Robbie fell asleep in the secure hold of Gary

A few hours later a nurse knocked on the door before walking in and seeing Robbie curled up beside Gary sleeping soundly. There was a slight smile on Robbies face as he slept it was clear he felt safe in Gary's arms. The nurse went to leave as Robbie woke up a bit "hello" he croaked seeing the women "hello Robbie, it's time for your daily counselling session but if you need sleep..."

"No no it's fine love I'll get up" Robbie insisted, he is trying he really is. Counselling is hard for him, he never opens up about his feelings so it's new to him. Untangling himself from Gary's arms as the older man continued to sleep Robbie just looked at him, mouth parted, hair messed up and looking absolutely beautiful to Robbie.

"No don't leave" Robbies hand was gripped as he went to get off the bed, Gary was still asleep but he knew Robbie was awake and moving away "Gary I need to go"

"No stay here I need to keep you safe" Robbies heart broke at Gary's sleeping words, he realised Gary feels responsible for him and that makes him angry with himself for making Gary feel like that "I'll be back soon I promise" Robbie managed to get up as Gary turned over in the bed continuing to sleep. Robbie cleared the tears from his eyes as he grabbed a benni and looked at the nurse "we're not tog..." he started as he felt like he had to explain why they were sleeping in each other's arms

"You don't need to explain to me Robbie, as long as you got sleep that's all that matters" she warmly stated making Robbie feel easier about the situation as he walked out of the room heading to his counselling meeting but he only wanted to be in Gary's arms.