Blades Can't Control Me

The Party

     "So what are you doing tonight?" Brandon asked, eagerly. 
      He was eyeing me with a look that may have screamed mischief, but he was the most popular jock at our school. Plus I've liked him for forever, so I ignored it.
     "Uhh, I, umm..." I just stuttered, but finally choked something out. "Oh, uh nothing really. Probably just homework."
     I tried to look cool but obviously failed. I'm an idiot. What is so wrong with me I can't even talk to a boy? I refrained from slapping my forehead.
     "Then you should come to my place tonight. You'd be the life of the party!" I thought I saw a wink, no I was sure I saw a wink. But I ignored it again.
     I realized that his friends were watching and immediately knew something was going to happen at that party. All odds pointed to something bad, but the crushed dazed, shred of hope I had left pointed to something good. But still my conscience yelled at me to not go. But I've gotten good at pushing away my thoughts. I mean, what could these high school boys do that was so bad if I did go?
     "Well I'll have to check with my p-" I was cut off by Brandon.
     "Nah, just sneak out!" When I gave him the 'I don't know' look he added, "Oh c'mon you need a lil fun in your life Alecia!"
     "Haha very funny!" I said in a sarcastic tone," but I'll be there, you can count on it." Wtf, Alecia?! What are you doing?? My thoughts were again pushed away, I couldn't listen to them now.
     "Alright, I'll be expecting you!" Then he turned and stalked over to his friends. After a few seconds every one of the boys in the group erupted into laughter.
What have I done?
       *                                  *                                    *
     When I got home I was greeted by my parents as usual. The 'how was school', 'what did you learn', 'any new friends' questions were thrown around. And the same answers were thrown back. Except for one.
      "Actually, I may have made a new friend." I was shy, but didn't know why. I was talking to my parents!
     "Oh really? Well that's just great honey!" My mom was a little over enthusiastic. "Are you going to see them tomorrow?"
      This is the part where I got excited a bit, "well actually I was hoping I could see him tonight?" It was like I was bracing myself for an impact. The impact that could determine whether I was socially acceptable or socially  awkward.
     My parents glanced at each other. "What time?" My father asked.
     "About nine, it'll go till about 11." I lied a little on the last part. His parties were known to go on till three in the morning, some all night when his parents are gone.
     "Well me and your mother are planning on being asleep by then, you know we have to be up by four tomorrow." My father narrowed his eyes.
     Their trip! I had forgotten they were going on a cruise to the Bahamas for two weeks. They were celebrating their 15th anniversary. I mean good for them, but sucky for me. I was stuck alone with a grandma from next door checking up on me. And she smelled like dirty cat litter due to her 7 cats. Ew.
     I looked at them with pleading eyes, I was begging them to go through looking as childish as I could. I was still my dad's 'little girl' wasn't I?
     "Could me and your father talk about it?" My mom asked, politely. I was about to let out a loud 'ugh' with a sarcastic tone but held back. If I was going to go I needed to be on my best behavior. And they needed to hurry, the clock read 5:06 and I still needed to do chores, have dinner, and get ready. My homework could wait a day. Tomorrow was Saturday.
     They exited the room and I went straight to the living room. I started to straighten the pillows, pickup the floor, and vacuum. Then moved on to the kitchen. I swept, wiped down the countertops, and made sure the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher. I was going to wait to turn it on till after dinner. And lastly, I moved onto my room, I cleaned the floor, organized my desk, straighten my bed sheets and duvet. I finished this all in 30 minutes, 30 minutes of the agonizing waiting game.
     I decided to cook dinner too, it was roughly 5:45 so why not. Plus it might help my case. I started by putting rice in the rice cooker and starting it. Then seasoned some chicken thighs and put them on the stove.
     My parents levitated out of their room, after what seemed like years but only an hour in truth.
      "Ooooo, Alecia what smells so good?" My father asked. I could tell the scent and idea of ready-to-eat chicken and rice. He had a frown on as he walking through his door frame but now it was a smile, though he tried to hide it.
     I chuckled a little and replied to him, "it's dinner, you want some?"
     My mother just stood off to the side laughing at my dad. "Can I have some too?"
     "Well I didn't make enough for three to eat it all myself!" I laughed, "go sit down, I'll grab the plates."
     I came back into the dining room with three plates of freshly cooked rice and chicken. Also some water cups. I set two in front of my parents then one for myself. As we all dug in I brought up the subject of the party.
     " so... do you think I could go?" I just slipped it in, hoping the casual cover would work.
     " well... are your chores done?" My father started the normal interview game. Again.
     "Yes dad I did."
     " living room?"
     "Yes"
      "Kitchen?
      " yes and I'm planning on doing dinner dishes too."
     "What about your room?"
     " yes! All of my chores are done!" I answered very confidently.
     My father looked impressed, so did my mom. "Well I guess you can, curfew is 11:30 okay?"
     My father eyed my mom, "11:00!"
     Mom then patted his hand, then looked at me "11:30 dear. Now let's finish eating." My dad looked mad a bit because he didn't get his way. I just laughed, then finished my dinner quickly to go get ready.
*                                      *                                     *
    I was in my room sitting on my bed trying to practice not being the awkwardest person ever. But what a surprise. I failed. I just laughed after that.
     I'm actually very pretty with or without makeup so I was considering not putting any on because I don't normally wear it. Then I glanced at my clock, 8:26. I had to look my best, or as good as my best gets. I was already wearing the normal trends I saw at school. A tight crop top, ripped skinny jeans, converse, and a flannel. Most girls wore dresses or skirts but I swear against those. They were made in hell!!
     But I decided a little bit of concealer and mascara couldn't hurt so I slapped that on and checked my choker to make sure it was straight. 
Perfect, but what if it's not? My anxiety was already gnawing at my insides but I didn't care.  I glanced at my clock once more and the digital numbers read 8:45.  I grabbed my phone and earbuds then dashed out my door. I scaled the stairs with ease then I was at the front door.
     I grabbed my keys and yelled, "Bye mom, bye dad!! I'm leaving!" Then opened the door at barely got halfway out the door before my mom called for me to wait. I tapped my toes as she strutted into the room.
     "You sure you don't want me to drive you?"
     "Yes mom, but thanks, don't forget to wake me up at four with you guys." I replied, in a rush to get out the door.
     " okay, well bye dear!"
     I yelled bye back as I darted to my bike  and jumped on. Then I pedaled to Brandon's house with a low rumble of excitement hiding under the music I was blasting through earbuds.
     I was a little late because I lived pretty far from him, but his house was already full of sophomores.
     "Heyyyooooo!!! Well if it isn't Alecia! Didn't think you'd show."
     "Well hey there Jacob" Jacob Barnes was Brandon's best friend, "how are you?"
     "Meh, real question is how Brandon talked u into coming!" He chuckled, he seemed partially drunk but I thought nothing I'd it. I didn't really know the guy to how can I judge?
     "Maybe I just needed to get out!" I laughed, and so did he.
     "Good reason"
     Just then Brandon strutted over, " I knew you'd come!"
     "Well, I keep my word." I giggled and landed with a smile. Deep breath, you got this!
     You sure didn't disappoint! You look great by the way!" Brandon smirked then Jacob did to. There's been a lot of signs I've ignored but kept overlooking them all. Oh what have I gotten myself into??
    "Well I'd hope so! An hour of getting ready better pay off!" We all laughed then Brandon took my hand.
     He led me to the living room and we sat down on the already overly crowded couch.
     "Alecia..." a very small, husky voice spoke to me," Alecia, what are you doing??" It laughed, and kept going," you are ugly, you don't fit in, and you never will!! You are an oddball and selfish." It cackled, " oh you little fool! You know he'll never like you, just stop trying. Why would he like an ugly selfish who-"
     "I'm back!" Brandon yanked me out of my thoughts. I must have looked dazed or hurt or something because he asked if I was okay.
     "Oh yeah, yeah, I'm fine!"I lied.
     He looked at me for another couple seconds and I promised him I was great. Promises don't mean much to me, they are always broken anyway.
     "Okay then," he handed me a red solo cup with dark liquid in it. I had forgotten he went go go get drinks. I inspected it to make sure there wasn't any alcohol.
    Brandon laughed,"have you ever been to one of my parties?"
     "Am I that obvious?" I laughed dryly.
     " maybe a little but don't worry about the drink, alcohol is banned at my parties." He laughed again. It was so perfect.
     I took a sip of the drink and realized it was just cola, so I was relieved. But then I turned to him, drink still in hand.
     "So why did you invite me to your party?"
     "Um, well, my friends and I are planning a surprise for you. " Brandon winked and flashed a crest ad worthy smile and walked over to Jacob. They both grinned evilly and glanced at me as they talked.
     I got up to go outside s I tried to battle my thoughts.
     My chest started to tighten, my limbs felt like cast iron and too heavy to lift, my fingers were shaking and my stomach was clenching. It was like I couldn't breathe.
     "Alecia! What did I tell you? You're a fool. An ugly, selfish, horrid person, if you can even be considered that. You can't do anything right, you are a failure." The same shallow, husky voice hissed into my head. It was eating at me and I was helpless.
     I knew I was having an anxiety attack but it felt so much worse. Like demons had consumed me whole.
     Just then the lights on the patio flicked on. And Brandon was in the middle. I was dying, but only in my head. I was being tortured in a trap.
     Brandon eyed me and started to speak," And we'd like to call up Alecia Evans!"
     Everyone turned to look at me and pushed me to the front. There was no running away. It's not like I could anyway.
     "Great. Now to get down to business! Who here has an idea on what to do to this helpless girl?" He laughed evilly and raised an eyebrow. On queue two large football players came and grabbed me. They pushed me against the brick wall of the house and held me there as I struggled.
     Just then someone raised their hand. Jacob, Jacob did. They had planned this.
     "Rip off her shirt! Then her jeans! Then splash her with pool water and finger her till she's drooling for more!"
     Brandon smiled. Smugly he agreed and the crowd cheered. I was blind, but I could see faces. I was deaf but I could hear. I didn't know what I was till I heard the rip of my shirt. I could t scream. Everyone saw me, being held back by football players, in my bra.
     Then came a more deep rip, the sound of my jeans being torn from the holes. I felt the cold of his fingers travel up my thigh and stopping dangerously close to the one point I didn't want him to touch. Then came the splash. It was freezing water from his pool.
     I was just standing there, breathless, being watched by probably the entire sophomore class. Being held back by football players, soaking wet, in black, lacy underwear.
     "Now for the fun part!" Brandon said, licking two fingers. That's when I woke up from this daze. Brandon was lunging and I would not let that happen. I bit one guy to my left, then he let go and yelped in pain. Then I nailed the other boy on my right with my elbow knocking Brandon over in the process. Then I bolted for my bike in tattered clothing and sopping wet hair. Tears stung my eyes as I pedaled home in nothing more than lacy underwear.
       As I was laying in my bed that night. Not sleeping. Just laying. Laying as flashes of what happened occupied my thoughts. It was like a horror movie that played over and over.
     "Alecia maybe you should listen to me more often. I know everything. I know you are hated and looked down at. Everyone is better than you, even a rock. So maybe if you just die everyone would be better off." The rough, shallow voice in my head narrated this movie. The movie that showed I was hated and have no reason to be happy or positive.
     I realized two things that night. That everyone was completely wasted or just plain sick. And also that their were cell phones in the crowd. Flashes shining in my eyes as the clothing was ripped of my body. As the water chilled my skin. How pathetic I
      I was wide awake surrounded by darkness all night. Trapped by my ruthless mind. And only one tear slipped from my eyes.

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That was my first chapter, I hope u liked it! I know it was pretty long (2500 words to be exact, not kidding) and kind of intense. I'll try to get one chapter a day so I hope u keep reading Xx