black blood

fifteen

first off listen to the song above while you read!!!! it seems so fit???

the two found themselves on the bleachers again.

jimin was just dying to ask so many questions.

he hoped yoongi didn't just shut him down.

"yoongi.." jimin started softly. yoongi turned to him, having already lit a cigarette.  

"what?" he asks, blowing out smoke.

"can I.. do you mind if I like.. assume something? I know it's wrong, but at this point how I look to you doesnt affect me," he explains.

"go for it," yoongi says with a shrug.

"well.. you said that you hated being a fuckboy.. and my assumption is that something happened at your home life that really hurt you and you didnt have.. anybody to help you so you just.. drown yourself in drugs and sex and people to hide the fact that you have low self esteem. do you.. think that this is all helping, but really you just need someone?" he asks, trying not to sound invasive harsh.

yoongi put his cigarette out and closed his eyes. he was breathing softly, and to jimins surprise he wasn't angry.

"yea," he whispers, "howd you know?"

jimin took in a deep breath. yoongi was in the same place as he was.

it was fine to tell him.

"i was the same," he says, not daring to open his eyes and look at yoongi.

"what do you mean you're.. the same?"

"I.. something happened a year ago and I had nobody that made me happy, so.. i let people toy with me use me to their benefit. it made me feel important and I needed that to happen. but I moved because I hated that and I wanted to change," he whispers, finally opening his eyes.

his eyes met yoongis and they locked gazes.

he always avoided eye contact. it made him feel small, lost and vulnerable.

but with yoongi, for some reason he thought feeling small around him was okay.

"so, you're saying.. that's what you meant when you said I could change," yoongi says, and jimin nods slowly.

outside, the sky was a light blue, and the only clouds were the ones by the horizon line shielding the earth from the suns harsh rays.

the wind was barely breezing, and it smelled so fresh outside.

it was so beautiful, and jimin loved it.

"if you don't mind.. what happened a year ago that hurt you so bad?" yoongi asks. both of them turn to face the sunset, which was setting early.

school had ended a while ago, but jimin was just dying to talk to yoongi.

"my dad died," he answered. he could just feel the pain tearing at his heart.

the fact that the only person he believed he had left was gone and was never going to come back hurt him so bad.

he didn't ever want to be hurt again.

"you?" he asks, swallowing the thick lump in his throat and turning to yoongi.

"everyone. i lost everyone," yoongi says,  shaking his head at himself.

"what do you mean?"

"i dont know. i just did it to myself. I was an ass and I steered all my friends away. I think it was because I was mad nobody cared for me at home. well, nobody as in my mom. my dad left, and my mom just hooked up and ignored me. i got depressed, and.. i dont know, jimin," he says, and jimin blinks.

this guy really had some deep secrets.

"when?" he asks softly.

"freshman year. that's why im still a junior. i failed freshman year and had to repeat it," he says. jimin bites his lip.

"what about.. earlier, during audio production. your dream," jimin says. yoongi sighs.

"when i was sixteen and everything was going on, I had plenty of emotions that were song worthy, but i was told i wasnt good enough and that the emotions were fake. but music makes me feel something nobody could ever give to me," he says

"importance," jimin breathes. yoongi nods at him.

"dancing does the same. when I choreograph it makes me feel like I'm doing something, something important that I'm meant to do," he explains. yoongi smiles at him.

"that's good," he says softly, looking at jimin for a few more seconds before turning back to the sunset.        

"hey, yoongi?" jimin asks after a while. he scooted closer to yoongi so they were sharing the same warmth.

"yea?" he says.

"i want to see your lyrics," he says. yoongi turns to him in surprise.

"why?"

"because youre never happy from what I've seen. and if they make you feel importance then i want to look at them," he says. yoongi laughs.

"maybe another time, kid," he says, and he can't fight back the small smile.

"but jimin, ive never told anyone this stuff so do me a favor and don't tell anyone, alright?" he asks, and jimin nods.

"whyd you tell me?"

"I dont know. but it's not important, so do the best and forget about it," he says, and he stands up, beginning to walk away. "ive gotta go home. see you 'round, jimin."

"but it is.. important.." he tried to assure him, but he was already gone.

-

IM YEKLINGIM STILL LISTENING TO JUNGKOOKS PLAYLIST ANE ITS SO BEAUTIFUL AND IT ALL HITS ME HARD AND IM STILL CRYING OVER IT AND IM SO EMOTINAL LIKE FULL ON SOBBING BX I REALISED HOW MUCH I LOCE BTS AND HOW MUCH THEYVE IMPROVED MY LIFE IM JUST SO EMO I NEED 2 GO