Hell To Lovers

Chapter 13

AN: So a lot of you were confused BUT I hope this clears that up for you. (Don't worry she isn't going to die ever in this fanfic, no one dies in here so we can all relax.)

I awake under bright fluorescent lighting, that reflects off a bright white room that stinks of bleach over masking blood and other bodily fluids.

I take in my appearance first.

I’m in a hospital gown, my hair sticks to my face in sweaty, nappy strands.

My left arm has a bandage covering it, with blood blotches through the bandage gauze.

My right arm has a needle stuck into my arm with tape keeping it there. My eyes follow the cord to the small bag of clear liquid, hanging from a metal hook that looks like a coat hanger.

The blanket covering my stomach and legs looks light, and made to cover not warm.

I hear the beep of a heart machine and look to my right again where the source is.

I sigh and hear the faint talking outside the door.

“Did you know she was depressed?” an unfamiliar voice asks.

“No. She was talking about how she was fat and she wasn’t eating normally but I just thought it was a self conscious thing, like all teenage girls have, You know?” He pauses “I didn’t really think it would go this far.” Tobias says, sadness and tiredness ringing in his deep voice.

I recollect the memories from what happened.

I remember showering, and then I dropped the razor.

Shit.

They think I tried to kill myself?

Shit.

Tobias probably thinks I’m a real freak.

Shit.

The door opens and Tobias steps in.

His face is red, either from crying or lack of sleep, or anger. I can’t tell.

His eyes find mine and they harden.

“Why?” He asks, his eyes change in a snap and tears line his eyes.

I don't think I’ve ever seen him cry.

“I didn’t try to kill mys-”

“Obviously,” He says sarcastically. “No, no, the razor just came over and put a fucking gash in your arm.”

“Tobias, it’s not like that!”

“Then how is it like Tris!?” He asks and sits in the chair next to my bed.

“I got up to shower and I dropped the razor on my arm.. and then I walked out to the closet for a bandage.”

He shakes his head.

“Tris I watched you do it. You got up, and grabbed a razor blade from your dresser and cut yourself.” He tells me and the tears freely roll down his cheeks. “You went to the closet and just stood there and passed out.”

“No I re-”

“Tris. I watched you. I’m not lying to you.”

“Tobias please…”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were this sad? What even made you this sad? Is it my fault?”

“No it’s not your fault! I don’t even know what happened to me. I-I- I’ve never even thought about hurting myself.”

He sighs sadly and stays silent for a few minutes. “They said that if it happens again you’ll be sent away from help… Promise me it won’t happen again Tris.”

“I promise.”  I tell him honestly taking his hand.

***

I walk into school tomorrow and this is the day we turn in our ‘baby’

I’m sure by now the whole school knows about yesterday.

I get stares and gross looks by the girls and pity from the boys.

First and second block pass fast and soon, I’m holding the now turned on doll in my lap, while Tobias sits next to me.

I stare down at my bandaged arm as the teacher talks.

One by one groups go up and turn in the doll.

Me and Tobias go up and hand the doll in.

The teacher looks impressed.

“A+” He tells us and marks something on a clipboard.

Tobias smiles and picks me up sitting me in his lap when we get to the desk.

I put my head back on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck playfully.

I almost giggle but catch myself.

The rest of the hour we have free time.

AN: sorry its so short I updated before school. I'll update soon.