I Need You

Chapter 29 - If Not For You

George

I awoke abruptly, searching for the familiar warmth of Lauren next to me but then I felt that sad pang again in my chest that reminded me of what had happened.

I had a dull throbbing headache and I had a nagging feeling.

What was making me feel so remorseful? I didn't perform last night 'cause I was so drunk... But did I do anything?

I shook my head and got out of bed and looked at the calendar.

December 17.

I sighed, and proceeded to get ready for the day ahead.

Once I stepped into the bathroom, I was bombarded with the scent of Lauren's perfume that I had always loved. It smelled like honey and apples. It smelt like her.

The pang in my chest was now stronger so I breathed out of my mouth so I didn't have to feel it as much.

What kills me the most was that is was Paul. She promised she won't ever leave me to him!

But most promises were broken that we're made between me and her. But what made me hate myself more than anything in the world is that I told her I never loved her.

I'm so fucking stupid! I love her so much it hurts! I miss her smile, laugh, warmth, kindness, forgivingness, her hair, her eyes, her scent, her presence. But what she had did reminded me of how Paul had gotten her.

I'm mad at both Paul and Lauren. For letting this happen. I knew I shouldn't have let Lauren go on that 'lunch date' with Paul, and I knew I should've knew that Paul was following us home.

My eyes stung with tears and I shook my head.

No, there won't be any tears cried from Me.

Who am I fooling? Not myself. I need her in my life.

Lauren

{Dream}

Then I saw George. His face had contorted completely.

I reached out and touched his face and whispered his name.

"George."

Then his beautiful face was replaced with Paul's.

George's face flickered in Paul's and I sobbed.

"Please George, is it you?" I cried.

George/Paul held my hand.

"It'll be alright. George'll forgive ye and the sun'll shine bright again as it once did." Paul said, smiling a bit.

I sniffled.

"Please, I miss 'im so much." I begged Paul.

Then Paul was completely erased by George and hugged him tightly, taking in everything.

"Don't leave me." I whimpered.

"I won't ever leave ye." He said, his Liverpudlian voice flooded my mind.

It was him.

"I love ya." I whispered.

"I love ye most, me love. Now just wake up and see me today." He said, fading.

A tear ran down my cheek and he wiped it away.

"I'm only a kiss away, me love." He said, placing a kiss on my lips.

I blushed and then he disappeared.

{Reality}

My eyes fluttered open and I felt warm. Someone's arms were around me, protectively. I let myself believe it was George for a second but then I reeled away.

Paul's grip tightened, and I sighed.

If only this was George......

I felt my heart crack a little at the thought.

I laid there for a couple of hours, unmoving. Just thinking. I let Paul sleep, peacefully might I add. I do care for him, a lot. But I don't love him that way like I love George. Paul's like my best friend that I've known for forever, but in reality I've just met him a couple of months ago.

I watched him sleep, I know that's creepy but Paul looks so young when he's in this REM state. He looks so vulnerable.

Doesn't look like the man who destroyed me.