Sweet Disposition

Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Louis's POV

Lottie stands in the doorway with a stupid smirk across her face. I can already tell why she's here. In Lottie's mind I feel like not a single thing can happen to her without feeling the need to rub it in my face. She always does this. She has this way of gloating, acting as if it is some sort of victory lap or something. I brace myself for what is about to come out of her mouth.

"How's it feel? You know to have your little sister become the girlfriend of your enemy. Ha you are so pathetic." Hearing her say "girlfriend" felt like I were being smacked across the face. I really don't know why this is affecting me so much. I mean he's dated other girls before, that's what he does. That's what he always will do. I will never be more than a punching bag to him.

"Congratulations," I reply, turning my head towards the floor. She already has figured out how to hurt me and what hurts the most, but I have to try and at least conceal how I actually feel.

"Seriously Louis look at yourself. Here you are for your final year of high school with no girlfriend, no friends, and no social life. Yeah, those people who you think might be your friends are embarrassed by you. You're nothing but worthless. At least you haven't affected my life too much and by some means I was still able to get the hottest guy ever to go out with me. When was the last time you truly had a girlfriend?" I wish she didn't have to constantly remind me of how pathetic I am. I mean I already get that from everyone I'm around, but she's my sister. Doesn't matter though, I can never win.

"I know Lottie. Sorry. Are we done here?" I feel tears pooling in my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks. I can't let her see me cry, not now.

"Fine. I have better things to be doing anyways. Maybe I'll call up Harry," she says with that same idiotic smirk on her face.

That last remark including Harry caused the tears swelling in my eyes to overflow and I feel the water slide down my cheeks and drip off my chin. Everything tonight has been overwhelming. First I have to suffer through a dinner with Harry and Lottie all over each other. Then they run up to Lottie's room laughing behind closed doors. And then the hallway. What had he meant by maybe he's tired of hurting me? Oh, and he came so close that I could feel his soft breaths on my neck. The world seemed to stop, leaving just the two of us sitting there in that hall. His fingers brushed across my hand, sending chills throughout my body. I know I'm stupid for thinking this, but that moment in time it almost felt as if everything was perfect. As if it were just him and I. I felt safe there with his hand lightly on top of mine. He smiled at me too. That little smile of his about tore me to pieces. Maybe it was just a new way of trying to hurt me or to find out my secret, but I don't care. That moment felt like something. Why must this happen to me?

I look up from my floor and turn my face toward the window. Maybe Harry will just be there, lying on his bed once more. Maybe I can have that one piece of happiness that always makes me feel at home, no matter the events of the day. But this time looking through the window, I see a different scene. Harry sits on the edge of his bed with his body turned towards me. His eyes stare into my room through the glass. How long has he been there?

I am sat here on my bed trapped in his gaze. Our eyes meet and I am unable to look away. He doesn't stir or look away. This has to be some kind of joke. I mean seriously like he is actually looking at me through the window. He just sits there, his green eyes locked on mine. Tears stream down my cheeks.

My mind swirls with so many questions, so many thoughts that I think I might explode. I've tried to think that maybe the hallway thing didn't mean something, that it was all an act. But he's actually looking at me. Actually sees me and looks as he did in the hallway. The memory of his breath on my neck consumes me and tears fall faster from my eyes. His head turns to the floor for a brief second, but he soon looks back up into my eyes with an almost sad look. Probably sounds ridiculous but it looks as if he is like truly sad or sorry or something in between. But why?