Sighs and Fire (Phan AU) (INCOMPLETE)

(1.2)

"So, did you get yours?" Damion asked me the next day school in form.

"Yep. You?"

"Yeah. What's yours?"

"A guy. His name's Phil. You?" I avoided looking at him as so I didn't see his reaction to my soulmate being another boy.

"How did you know his name?"

"It was written on the label inside the jumper."

"Oh, lucky. I got a girl. I swear I've seen Taylor wear the same t-shirt that I got."

"Taylor? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, she blanked me earlier so I think it is her. It's going to be so awkward."

I laughed. Taylor hung around in our friendship group sometimes but often stuck to her own. My friendship group was small. Me, Damion, Max and Stephan stuck together since we were all the outcasts. Just leftovers that decided to form together. They weren't real friends, just kind of school friends that I never saw outside of it, but we were all happy with it that way.

"When do we get the next thing of theirs?" I asked absentmindedly.

"5th next month, I think? I don't really know."

"Oh. Clothes again?"

"Mate, I really have no idea. Ask one of the girls, they're all obsessing over it."

"Right. Yeah..." I trailed off, eavesdropping into a conversation next to me.

"Next month you send anything you want! What are you sending?!" I recognised the high-pitched voice to be Sierra's, a nice girl but too enthusiastic for me to handle.

"I don't know. I hope I get something romantic. Do you think sending a bit of my hair is cute or creepy?" Another girl replied. I cringed, knowing that I'd probably be sick if I was sent a lock of someone's hair.

"Aww! No! That'd be so cute! I want to send a picture of myself but I think that's cheating."

"That's illegal. You'd be shot down by the government if you did that. The whole point is that find out who they are in three months."

"Oh," Sierra sounded disappointed. "That sucks."

I agreed with her on that. I wasn't sure if I could wait three months to meet him. Not to mention, I had never seen anyone wear a jumper like it, so I was completely clueless about who it was. I stopped listening as they babbled on about something that wasn't really relevant to me and gathered my things, heading off to my first class. My imagination threw together countless of possible ideas of Phil and what he looked like and what his personality was like but knowing that I didn't have the faintest idea if any of them were right was only more frustrating than comforting.

-

30 DAYS LATER

To say I forgot about Phil over the next couple of weeks wasn't right. I say that I made myself stop thinking about him would be a better explanation as to why he slowly faded from my thoughts. I didn't want to think about him because it did no good. I could spend hours speculating about his appearance but I wouldn't get any closer to the truth, but instead just feel more restless and impatient.

But for today only I let myself immerse myself into as many thoughts about him to my heart’s desire. It was June 5th, which meant we had another delivery from our soulmates. This month didn't cause as much as a disruption to daily life as it did the month before since only our year group had the day off, but everyone else went to school or work. I didn't know why this time wasn't as important as the others, but I least I knew I'd definitely be alone this time.

I overslept in the morning and didn't wake up until midday. Usually, I had to lay awake and stare blankly at the ceiling for about 10 minutes to come to in the morning, but I had rolled out of bed and was stumbling downstairs not even 10 seconds after I had woken up and remembered what the day was.

The package this time was a lot smaller. When I tore off the brown paper packaging, there was a small black box. Opening it, I felt my cheeks blush as there inside lay a silver chain with a semi-circle pendant and a small note that said; "I've got the other half :)".

I didn't waste any time in taking out the chain and putting it around my neck, feeling silly for smiling so much but vowed to myself that I'd never take this off. It was a sweet gift, or better than mine that was a couple of bracelets of mine that I wore religiously. I put the rest of what I left on my wrist even though I didn't have plans to get ready to go outside today, and I only hoped he was wearing his too.

I wanted to tell him thank you. Like, thank you for making me feel less alone in this world even if this is like a one-sided conversation and thank you for making me feel like I had something to live for. The wait for meeting him was so agonisingly long it was painful, and even though an entire month had passed since I received Phil's jumper, two months seemed much further away.

I felt so needy. I was missing someone who I had never met and knew nothing about but I was craving nothing more than putting a face to the name and the feeling of him next to me. I wondered if anyone felt the same about their other half, but I resisted saying anything about it to anyone since the excitement and buzz of it all died down just two days after the first gift and I wasn't sure if anyone would understand.

I knew I didn't want to act needy in front of Phil when I finally met him just in case he didn't feel the same urgency that I did. I wondered what he was doing right now and where he was and if he was had questions about me, or maybe he didn't think about me again once he had my bracelets. I partly didn't want to know in case the truth hurt, but the semi-circle pendant had me thinking that he liked the idea of us just as much as I did.

I got thinking that maybe this soulmate thing was completely psychological and there was actually no DNA pairing up involved, but right now, I couldn't really care if we were all being tricked. Psychological or not, there was definitely some kind of connection with Phil, and whatever it was, I was sure he was feeling it too.