Absolute Chaos (Dick Grayson)

PROLOGUE

I hate poetry. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way. I don't know why - there are some fantastic piece of literature out there and god knows I respect those who go out and write about the lives that have tried to ruin them - but it just doesn't do it for me at all.

Maybe it's the holes in the writing. It starts a sentence, skips a line, makes you wait for the end and then hits you with something.

I hate waiting for things that could deliver a punch.

But there was just - this one time. I dug it up while looking through some old shit sitting in the back of my closet. There's only two boxes from Before.

I don't touch the first one.

But the second one is no big deal - mostly just old books with charred edges, some sentimental ornamental things I used to have in my room, I think I even stuffed a toy in there, despite the fact that as a kid, My attachement to toys had dwindled to next to none by the time I was four.

There was a ripped out page in the box, though, that I recognized from some library book I, uh, stole, from school when I was twelve. I was pretty impressed with myself for remembering it when I pulled it out.

It was just one page.

" well, I looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said
'do your best, destroy me,
you see, i've been to hell and back so many times,
i'm afraid you kind of bore me.' "

I was fourteen. Roy was over with Ollie again, I'd escaped that particular hell - you know, glaring daggers but never retorting when the idiot kept making jabs at me or dropping a shit ton of salt all over my plate when he was passing it to Dinah - and I didn't want to ruin anything before it truly kicked off. Dinah had introduced me to him for God's sakes, and not to help her scare off the guy. (As having a foster kid typically would.)

We had a rule; I approve, she'd stick with them. There's lots of rules, but that had been a huge one with men she brought around, even though it was rare. And I could tell she liked Oliver.

Maybe even loved him, someday soon.

So. Yeah. No hitting Roy with that absolutely awesome right hook Dinah got me to perfect. (A gruelling Saturday at Wildcat Gym, but... Worth it.)

Fourteen years, never loved by anyone until then. It meant everything to me, having Dinah there with me, spending time with me - teaching me to live a little and...just. Teaching me how to just be.

It meant everything.

But it was hard to forget. And back then, pulling out that paper I'd forgotten about, reading those words. It gave something to me. It spoke to me.

That meant something to me.

I was naive enough to assume, however, that my demons were long dead, buried, and made of ash.