After Death (Hello, Death 3) (Completed)

Epilogue: Dandelions

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Kinain ako ng dilim. Anumang pilit kong lumingon o unawain kung nasaan ako, walang silbi. Wala akong makita. Walang nakikita. Hindi ko rin maramdaman ang katawan ko.

I was in a void, in a pit, in a never-ending darkness.

A voice, uncharacteristic of neither a man nor a woman, neither a child nor an elder, spoke.

"You are sinful."

I agreed. I was a sin since the moment I was conceived. I was born a sin. I lived with sin. I died twice of sin.

But when I lived the second time, I lived with hope. With faith. With love.

I lived looking for meaning.

"You are scared."

I am. Because I am a human being obsessed with certainty and this darkness is threatening.

But I will be okay, because I know that wherever I go, the Creator's mercy is always enough.

"So, you said."

The voice echoed for a long time in the void and when it faded, I saw a bolt of lightning slowly traveling from high up. I thought of running to it before it hit the ground and disappear, but I couldn't feel my body.

"Walk."

I tried to walk but I couldn't make sense of my movement. Hindi ko alam kung gumagapang ako o gumugulong. Pero sa dahan-dahang pagguhit ng liwanag ay nakita ko ang napakaraming panahon.

I saw the flow of time with the events charted to it.

I saw, heard, smelt, tasted, felt, and suffered the conflicts of men. I saw the many wars and wept with every blood spilled. I heard their many devastations and their many condemnations. I tasted the filth from their sins and their greed to life. I felt many hearts breaking over lives lost; many hearts longing for peace; many hearts yearning for purpose. I bled for their own imprisonment and degradation of their kind. I broke for their betrayal against the grace of the Creator.

I saw humanity in its thousand years of sinning and regretting. I saw its thousand years of birth and death and rebirth.

I was poured of everything—their every pain, love, despair, fear, hope—while my bones were being crushed under my breaking skin.

I was being stripped off my body—skin by skin, bone by bone, vein by vein. I might have shrieked in pain but I couldn't hear my voice.

The sin of men for a thousand years was too much to taste. I couldn't swallow it all nor look at it all.

Then the voice asked me again.

"You've seen men in their many faces and their many lives. You saw them sinning and regretting and sinning again. You saw them turned their back from the source of their life. You saw them embraced the darkest of their falls.

"You've lived like them in four rebirths. Though you don't remember it all, you're familiar with the filth you've tainted yourselves with.

"What do humans need to redeem themselves from their own destruction?"

I could taste my own blood as I was being burned. Alive. The fire I couldn't see was burning every part of my body.

"Natalie, what do you need to redeem yourself from sin?"

I cried and this time, I heard my voice.

I answered in pain.

"Your mercy. Your mercy is always enough."

As soon as I said the words, the stark of light hit me and burst into different directions. I gasped in the comfort of its warmth, before it dropped me. Patalikod akong bumulusok, nakasakay sa mga talsik ng liwanag; nakatitig sa dilim na papaliit nang papaliit.

I hit the ground with my eyes closed. Nakatakip ang isang braso ko sa mga mata ko, habang kamal ko ang isang puting bato.

I waited to die but nothing's coming for me. Nang maamoy ko ang bango ng iba't ibang bulaklak, unti-unti kong ibinaba sa tagiliran ang mga braso ko at nagmulat.

I stared into a clear, blue sky. The sun was shining brightly, warmly.

Tumayo ako at pinagmasdan ang mga kamay ko, ang balat ko. Nothing seemed to be missing from me.

Luminga ako sa walang hanggang hardin ng bulaklak na nakapalibot sa akin. Ibinaba ko ang puting batong hawak ko sa mga katulad nitong nasa daan. I walked, fascinated with everything I see. There were flowers everywhere. Butterflies. Bees. Birds were flying by.

I walked until I saw an arc of flowers, with a bench made of plant root and vines.

A death god was sitting at the bench while dandelion seeds were blowing between us.

I was a few feet away but I could see the death god clearly. He has caramel brown eyes and rebellious cowlicks sticking out of his head. He was smiling a gentle smile while looking at me.

I know the name of that god. I dreamt of meeting that god one last time. I love that god.

"Athos!"

Lumapad ang ngiti niya sa pagtawag ko sa pangalan niya.

"Your wings look good on you," he said.

I looked at my back and touched a pair of silver wings.

I ran to him.

#1007g/07042017