Breaking Free (Smut)

Chapter 5

I stood in front of the door, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to find. I didn't want to enter this house for many, many reasons. Yet, I knew deep down inside me that this was something that I had to do, it was what my mom wanted. I placed my hang on the golden doorknob, took a deep breath, and gently pushed the door open. Cole had now grabbed my hand a squeezed it tightly to comfort me, it worked. I walked in with Cole hand-in-hand. I took a deep breath and looked around the house, that's when all the memories that I was trying to leave behind came flooding back. Every memory that I tried to forget just came back into my head, as if it was for display for everyone to see all the pain I had been in, and just like that, once again I had run out of tears. I tried to shove the memories back into the little, tiny box in the back of my mind where they had come from, however it was not working.

"It's okay, just focus on something or someone who eases your mind." Cole poke, by now he had known exactly I was feeling. I did exactly as I said and started to focus on Cole, the kiss we had shared, our movie night, the first time I saw him, and with that the memories had started to fade. Except, the worst memory I had in this place, the one when my dad had choked me, was still hanging on to the front of my mind by a thread. I turned to face Cole, I stared at him for a minute before I cupped my hands around his face and kissed him. Once we pulled apart Cole had smiled, I gave a slight smile in return. 

"What was that  for?" Cole asked, his smile had still not left his face.

"To make me feel better." I said, I gave him a small smile and I had realized the last memory had returned to its tiny, little box in the back of my mind. I started to think of where my mom would have kept the picture or pictures she had wanted me to see. Maybe it would be in the living room, she would always look at her old childhood pictures there. I slowly approached the living room, unsure if it was a good idea, but a knew it was the right thing to do. I searched everywhere in the room to find any pictures  of me as a child, there was nothing there. Cole was searching the kitchen seeing as my mom hid everything there and he said he couldn't find anything either. I pondered about where the pictures could be, I decided to go up and check my mom's room. I led Cole up the stairs and into my mom's room. Once I entered the room, her perfume was all I could smell, making me miss her even more than I already do. I started to tear up as I was going through her room, I recognized so many of her things. There weren't any picture of my as a child, except for the ones with her and I. I decided to take some of the pictures of with me for safekeeping. I sat on her bed as I thought about what other could hold the pictures my mom had talked about. Then it hit me, there were probably in my old room. I led Cole across the hall to where my old room was placed. I walked into my room and was shocked. My mom had not moved anything since the day I had left. My bed was still unmade, my old perfume and makeup had been scattered on my perfectly white vanity, and the clothes I had worn the morning I left were still sitting in my hamper. 

"Wow, she didn't touch anything since I left." I said, sighing. 

"Where do you think your pictures would be?" Cole asked me, now sitting next to me on my old bed.  

"Oh, they would probably be in the dresser next to my vanity. My mom would always place pictures and old stuff in there." I told him as we walked over to the dresser. I sat on the floor next to Cole as I looked through the first drawer. I saw some of my old stuffed animals and an old picture of my mom, my dad, and I. I did not believe that my mom would have sent me all the way to her house for that picture. So, I kept looking through the other drawers. Cole did not find anything in the second drawer, so we decided to look through the third drawer together. We found some of my old dress-up clothes and a ton of baby pictures of me. As we looked through them they showed me growing up slowly in each one. Yet, there was one picture that had stood out to me, it was a picture of me and the little boy of my dreams. He looked so much like Cole that I had to show him. Then I realized the boy had the same beauty marks as Cole did.

"Cole?" I asked as he looked through some of my younger pictures.

"Yeah?" He asked, he had realized the shocked expression on my face and he his once blank expression had turned into an anxious expression. 

"Is this you?" I asked him, I wasn't even sure what I wanted the answer to be. Cole took the photograph from my hand and stared at it.He looked up at me, his eyes showing care.

"Yes, it is. I wasn't going to tell you until things cleared up and you were in a better mood. I found out when we got back from the hospital, I told my mom what happened that day and she told me. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner I just didn't know how you would react." he said,  I think he expected me to be mad at him but I wasn't. I have felt close to Cole ever since he got here and now I know why. If anything, this was the best thing that has happened to me over the past couple of days. I barely knew how to react after finding out something so big. I looked at Cole, his expression was still taken over by worry. I cupped my hands gently around his face and kissed him. At first it was a soft, gentle kiss, then it turned into a deep, passionate one. We smiled when we pulled apart, things were always so much better when I was with him. He had pulled me into a tight embrace, a position I wanted to stay in forever.