30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 4- my sibling

a/n: i'm an only child but my mom had a miscarriage... writing to him, i guess. :(

Hey. I hope you're well. I've never met you. Sometimes I wish you were around. You know that saying, what I miss most is what I never had? That's how I feel. It's really hard to mourn for someone who never truly lived. I know my parents took your loss really really hard, and I wish I could help them. They wanted more than one kid, you know. I know my dad wanted a boy. He covers it up, but I think you were going to be that boy, his son that he could take hunting and be all masculine with. :) I wish I could be that, but I'm not going to meet all his expectations. I have to be my own person right now. I'm sorry to disappoint, but not that sorry that I don't meet those expectations. It happens.

Sometimes I wonder how you are, like if you went to heaven or wherever all the miscarriages go. I wonder if you have developed any kind of personality, if you look like what age you were or what age you could've been if you were alive... I wish you knew how much we all miss you. It's weird to think that I have an older brother (or sister, but I think you're a guy... is that weird?). I'm so used to being an only child. 

I sound like some postcard... wish you were here, it's great! But I know it's better where you are. I do wish you were here, to help me through all this crap with school and parents and just everything. Maybe it would be easier. Like I said earlier, what I miss most is what I never had. I think I'm done being sad about your death, but I still miss what you could've been. Thanks for waiting on us.

Love,

Isabelle