30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 19- someone that pesters my mind (good or bad)

you know (or maybe not) who you are:

Hi. So let's just cut to the chase. I don't know if i want to be friends with you. (So cliche, I know, sorry.) We've had a lot of good times and all, but you've got a mean streak a mile wide. I don't hate you, and I'd like to be friends with you, but I feel really uncomfortable knowing that if you talk about other people behind their backs, you probably talk about me behind mine.

And maybe I shouldn't, but I want to know if I'm right. What do you talk about when I'm not around? Do you say the things you say to my face, or do you talk about how you just can't believe I would say that to you (when I have every right to just disagree) ?

I don't know. Maybe it's wrong to be insecure about this, but I feel like I can't trust you anymore. If you are telling other people my secrets, how do I know you won't tell mine? So I've stopped. I'm not telling you anything I wouldn't be comfortable with the whole school knowing. Call me pararnoid, say I'm wrong, but I call it playing this safe.

Another thing: as much as I hate that you're probably talking about me, I really hate that you talk about other people to me. If they aren't present (and you don't know about half the things you're talking about anyway), please don't gossip about them.

Then, the same people you were talking about start talking about you. When I love both of you like sisters, I get sick of it. I hate playing peacemaker. I'm done. I'm staying out of this.

What I'm scared of most is that we'll go back to school in the fall and I'll just put up with it again. I don't want to make a scene, I don't want to give anyone anything to talk about, but you need to be confronted about this. I'm sorry if I hurt you, or if I become the talk of our small town, but if you find this. I'm sick of being friends with a hypocrite. Please understand.

~Isabelle