What She Lacked {Naruto X OC}

Juu Hachi ~ Yumiko

The next day kept me thinking about the leader of my first mission, Sai.

I don't usually think about people so much but  Sai didn't really look human. I mean, yeah, he looks like a human, but surely didn't act like one.

Ugh, I wonder how would this mission be if Naruto was the one to lead us. It would probably be much more fun!

But I guess I'm just thinking ahead, nervous about my first mission, that's all...

***

The sun was kissing the horizon, setting, and I couldn't help myself but watch the change of colours in the sky. I was out, training in the place Naruto would take me to. The Third Training Ground.

He took me there so much to orientate me that I guess it wasn't hard at all to go there alone. No places in Konoha are too far away from one another, one thing I learned since I started living here.

But I guess the sun made me drift away in random thoughts... I was thinking about the mission, and how I was training alone for the first time. Without Naruto.

Naruto.

I just realized I can't do much without him. Besides cooking, of course, but I cook for him... So that counts...

It is evident that what I feel towards Naruto is not a simple friendship... I admire him with all my heart... And I don't think I ever admitted this to myself before, but I want him near.

I... love him.

***

My training started together with the day, at dawn, and I decided to bless myself with a break. I layed on the grass and stared up to the celestial start of darkness. Just me and the environment...

Relaxing.

I closed my eyes slowly and tried to clear my mind. I could feel sweat on my palms for having done so many attempts to do an Atsuigan again. And gladly, I was able to, and managed to increase the size this time, so it was worth the sweat.

There was nothing but silence, all I could hear was my heavy breathing and faint steps coming from villagers further away.

It was when I started to doubt myself. About wanting to be a ninja and fight.

You don't need to do this... Are you really just putting yourself up to this challenge because you believe it's the right thing to do?

Was I really training to become a ninja to prove my clan I can, or to show them I am one of them?

To show them that maybe I don't have the kekkei genkai I'm supposed to, but that I still am a Nakanishi. Honour my clan...

Do I just hide my beliefs with the "I'll prove them I can be strong too!" phrase?

Am I really just a failed girl, from a ninja clan, that can't be a ninja...?

Now I wonder... Can I change this in anyway?

I mean, yeah, okay, I have my Atsuigan, but can I use it the way a real Nakanishi with the Tsuyoigan and Yowaigan could?

Or will I just be worse always?

There are so many questions... I have to clear my kind again before I start cryi- Too late... I feel light teardrops sliding down my cheeks...