The Plague

Chapter 6

Naturally, I'm in a horrible mood when I get home, so I ignore the group when they invite me into the sitting room for drinks and movies. 'Zombies in Paris' how fucking original.

I try not to stomp up the stairs and get halfway there when I think a drink doesn't sound so bad, and then turn to go back down to see Vance at the bottom.

"Troubles in paradise?"

He has no idea how true that is, other wise I would probably kick him in a very bad spot and not give two thoughts about it. Instead I give him my most nasty look, and search the cabinets for our strongest stuff. Skipping over the home made crap Adam calls liquor, I find the Jack, grab a coke and a glass of ice, then haul ass back upstairs.

Of corse Vance had to follow me, and for once I wished I had one of those brothers who didn't give a damn.

"I only brought one glass, so if you plan on hanging out you'll have to get your own."

Hoping he will get the hint, or at least go back downstairs and give me the chance to scream into a pillow alone before having to explain myself.

"That's alright, I drink it straight."

'Whatever', I think. Sitting on the floor I fill my glass. Then I chug the stout liquid until my eyes burn.

"I take it things didn't go well back home."

"You took right." I answer chugging the last and refilling the cup. Damn the ice was melting faster than I thought.

"Want to talk about it?" Vance asks.

"Want to go get me some more ice and cokes?"

"Not really."

"Then nope." I say.

"Fine, be a raging bitch but you can't just sit up here all night feeling sorry for your self. We've got a group coming in. Adam says we're throwing down tonight. Have a little party, maybe it will cheer you up a little."

"Just..." I couldn't think of an argument so I went along, "whatever. It doesn't matter what we do as long as I'm toasted."

"That's a good girl. But I'm going to ask anyways. What'd you see?"

I knew what he was asking. Vance had already came home one night, maybe a couple of months after I got here, pissed about seeing Emily on a date. Or coming home from one I should say. I felt horrible for him, and it gave me new fears. Ones I realized today.

I know we need to be more understanding because they are merely full human, and eventually they need to live their lives. To think we should be mourned for, forever, is highly selfish. But when you give yourself hope that one day you'll make it back to them, you tend to overlook that. I can admit to myself that some small part of me had been glad Dallas found someone since it would make things easier for him, and for a split second I felt happy for him. But Keaton? That's so much harder to wrap my head around.

I look up at him avoiding eye contact because I had already started crying. He curses under his breath and sits on the floor besides me. I recount the entire day back to him, except for the beginning because he didn't need to know about my confused feelings I thought I had for Trey. By the time I'm done, I've managed to stop crying but my breathing is ragged and sharp, and my eyes are puffy. I'll look fabulous for the party tonight.

"Well, look at it this way and before you kick my ass really, REALLY, listen. Keaton is going to miss out on a lot without you around. Don't you think he deserves someone to be there for him, you know, a mother figure?"

I shake at the word mother. No other woman will be his mother, only I can be. But I reign my anger in enough to hear him out further.

"I've been visiting Kam and Christian too, and it hurts seeing them around the new guys their mothers have around now. But they need this Soph. We are fighting to keep them safe that's true, but we aren't there. What about them? Don't you think it helps them even a little getting love from two parents again?"