TEASE. - The Memoir

9. Sinatra

9. Sinatra

Originally, I wasn't going to write this next chapter or include this story in my album for several reasons. I didn't want to make this next situation seem as if it was just another track on an album of teases, however I changed my mind one night while I was hanging out with this next boy. I knew then that he deserved a spot toward the end of the album, and for good reason. We were teasing each other, but only doing so reasonably and responsibly.

Let me start from the beginning of our encounters. We first met through mutual friends on a Friday night while dancing at one of the clubs downtown. We instantly clicked and got to know each other rather quickly. I knew of him through his famous Instagram account, (he is a BEAUTIFUL man, so it makes sense that he has such a following) but he didn't know too much of me. He revealed that he recognized me from social media, and that I looked great online but better in person. That first night with him was graceless but we managed to keep each other safe. He ended up staying with me that night in my apartment.

The day after he left was when I contemplated whether or not he deserved a spot amongst the rest on this track list. I had already planned out the album's progression before meeting him, so his encounter threw a wicked curveball my way. And although I'm not athletic in the slightest, I managed to catch his pitch. He was different, more personable, more attractive to me, and overall the most intoxicating. This worried me, in a way, as I could see a future with him. I didn't want to just tease him and send him off with a song, immortalizing him like some deity between synthesizers and great beats. So although his song may seem to do just that, I hope and pray that our story isn't over.

Fast forward a few weeks, and my story with this boy progresses. We meet up again, away from the facade of the club life, and begin to really get to know each other. Since he was transferring to my university in the fall from out of town, I showed him around the campus to find his classes, he bought dinner for us from a pizzeria a few blocks from my apartment, and we ended up talking about philosophy all night. We debated the existence of God, the purpose of love, and the validity in skepticism, all while I played a few of my favorite Sinatra vinyls in the background.

Sounds like a kind of jazzy hipster heaven, I know.

That's when my mind started to change on whether or not to write about him. Who said a tease couldn't find romance and get stuck for a moment on someone so intoxicating as this guy? Although he was just another boy to tease when we met that graceless night, now he was becoming something more, as cringeworthy as that may be.

So yes, I decided to codename this one Sinatra. Between his existential claims concerning God, this boy created an existential panic in my mind as he sang along to every Sinatra song that played. And not only did he sound fantastic while doing so, he also sang along an octave lower than the baritone beast of jazz himself. I had to catch myself from making too much of a scene at the time, but this simple action, of which he probably thought nothing about, blew my mind. That may explain why I'm so obsessed with it now, considering that I don't have to wear the facade of a cultured tease as I write about it in the comfort of my own creation.

As the night continued past the last song on the record, we inched closer and closer until we were at the same heated point as the night we met. I decided to keep things appropriate this time, mostly because of my roommates, who were in their rooms not far from us. However, I also like to think that I stopped our progression to save something for another possible encounter with him, and thankfully another has been planned and we're now waiting for the time until then to pass.

The fact that I want to limit how far we go before we label our relationship is how I see the boy named Sinatra tying into the theme of this album. Our story is not over. However, I don't know if I want to return to this chapter as our story progresses, as we may not end up teasing each other forever. For all I know, this teasing could be just a stage in our relationship, and we can either let the feelings fade like the pigment in the leaves as they change with the seasons or grow as the temperatures will do inside the apartments of Minneapolis as the city goes into hibernation this winter. Bottom line, I'm leaving this story un-ended, and that in itself is a tease to you, the reader. So you're welcome, you now have a spot amongst all the rest, I guess.

Sinatra, if you ever read this, I hope you know how much it meant to hear you sing along to Come Fly With Me, My Way, and other classics that night in my living room. Know that you are separate from all the others on this album, and that although time may prove me false, you're the only one I see a future with. As school begins in the fall, I hope that you have the time of your life meeting new people and experiencing new things on our campus. And, if I ever grace through your beautiful mind after you see the glory of everything here, or if you want to once again sing along with me to the baritone beast himself, know that my door will be open and my record player will be playing just for you.

Thanks for memories, I hope there will be more.