Numbing Waves

Lamps & Noodles

The room was dimly lit with the small lamp she'd received in her youth. She never actually purchased it; she's not sure who did. She can't even remember when exactly it had come into her possession. And yet in every memory in her bedroom, there was this small old lamp emitting it's warm light.

The bed in the room really gave the "Bedroom" it's name. A queen sized bed taking up most of the floor space. We'd always have to squeeze around the furniture to travel around the room. She never seemed to mind it much. On the bed is where I laid. Watching her intently as she stared into the mirror.

It felt like hours would go by, and yet no time at all. There was an assortment of creams and potions on her dresser. I watched as one by one she'd apply them to her face. The glittery lotion that made her face sparkle. The black eyeliner that made me notice her eyes. The blush that made her stand out. And the red lipstick that made her my mother.

My tiny body laid sprawled out across her queen sized mattress as if to try to cover the whole bed. She brushed her dark hair back. Her hair could blend into the sky outside. Pitch black, no remorse.

It wasn't night. Rather, it was the earliest morning. I had fallen asleep in her bed last night. I'm not sure how, or even what time it was. I imagine it could have been close to four. She knew she had awoken me from my sleep when she got up and turned on the lamp. But she didn't acknowledge my existence. She went about her routine as if she was completely unaware of me looking at her.

When she had finished, she stood up and adjusted her clothing. She gave herself a once over in the mirror and silently decided she looked suitable to face the world. I thought she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

She walked out of the room and my head shot up. I instantly got up and tried to follow her in my pajamas. As she walked down the hall towards the door, she grabbed her purse and her keys. I ran after her but stopped in front of the kitchen. I was barely tall enough to pass the counter top.

She stood in front of the door for a second before turning around to face me.

"There's soup in the cupboards."

I remembered the freshly stocked ramen noodles in the cupboards where I could reach them.

The door shut behind her.

I slowly walked towards the door and reached up to the locks. One by one I heard the clicks from the locks as secured the door.

Going back to sleep in my room seemed pointless and lonely. So I dragged my sleepy feet back to her bedroom and climbed on her bed.

I failed to notice the lamp still dimly lighting the room. I stood up and reached to turn it off. The room was pitch black. At first I was afraid. But then the scent of my mother's perfume lulled me back to sleep.

When the sun rises and I've slept my fair share, I'd spend the day eating ramen noodles for breakfast and watching cartoons I'd already seen.

By the time the sun goes down, my mother will walk through the front door and turn on her lamp again.