Living A Nightmare {Casualty}

7 | Chapter Seven

It's been a few hours since the twins have been born and to be honest I don't know what I'm going to do. The twins remind me so much of Cal and it's so hard.

"Right were just waiting on a bed in the mother and baby unit and then you and the twins will be moved up" Duffy told me, I nodded looking down, the twins were on one side of the bed while I was facing the other way, I was so up for having the twins so what's wrong with me.

"They remind me so much of Cal, he would have loved to meet them" I sighed letting a tear I'd been holding back slide down the side of my cheek, I didn't want to have to go through this alone, I knew Iain wouldn't always be able to be by my side, Joshua would try and take the twins from me and then where would I be.

"I know it will be hard Kens but it's a good thing having the twins remind you of Cal. Caleb-James and Courtney they are so small, and precious they need their mummy to be strong right now, to tell them everything will be alright and to love them unconditionally" Duffy tries to reassure me, I nod slowly but part of me didn't believe her.

"I'm scared I'm not going to be a good mum, that Joshua will take them away from me like he said he would if I ever told anyone what he had been doing to me." I frowned looking over to my children Caleb-James began crying so I pushed myself forward and gently lift him up supporting his neck and head.

"Mummy loves you little one, you and Courtney will always be my main priority, I will come back to work but so I can spoil you both and give you tha best" I smiled kissing Calebs head.

"Your daddy was an amazing man, he would have loved you both so much. When you grow up I'll tell you where he is and what happened but for now your going to have me, Uncle Iain, Uncle Ethan and your godparents Alicia, Duffy and Charlie." I softly told my son who had soon stopped crying. Yeah that's right I asked Charlie to be the twins godfather since Duffy is godmother Courtney looked blank at me, it was like she couldn't hear or something like that.

"Courtney can't hear can she? She has a blank look on her face" I whispered, i didn't know if she was deaf or she just wanted to sleep.

"Once your on the ward your going to be able to request a hearing test for both babies" Duffy smiled, I thanked her for the help she gave me and let her go and get back to work. Soon their was a bed in the mother and baby ward both of my children were asleep so I seattled down for a nap while the twins were sleeping. I woke up a hour later to both twins crying seconds before their was a knock at the door.

"Come in" I called and in walked Ethan.

"Hey, how was the rest of work?" I asked the uncle to my twins.

"It was fine, I couldn't wait to come see these little ones, Alicia said she'll be up to see you later on" Ethan smiled and I picked Courtney up to settle her down first. I rocked her gently and then when she had settled I placed her back in the cot. I immediately picked Caleb-James up as he was crying, I rocked him and soon he was settled so I passed him to Ethan so he could hold him.

"They look so much like both you and Cal" Ethan smiled, I grinned and looked down at my daughter. We spent ages taking until Courtney was taken for tests after I had asked for it.

"I think she might be deaf, she doesn't cry when Caleb-James cries. It doesn't bother me if she is I just want her to have a normal childhood, I want her to be able to communicate Caleb-James when they grow up. I just don't know how that's going to happen" I sighed as Alicia finally arrived, I get her to come into  the room.

"How is everyone?" Alicia asked and I smiled to her

"Were fine, Courtney is just going for her hearing test, Caleb-James is just having cuddles with uncle Ethan" I grinned looking over to Ethan sitting in the bed side chair. Ethan and Caleb-James already seemed to be getting a close bond which was so cute.

"They are the cutest, I can't believe you named Courtney's middle name after me" my best friend smiled and I grinned.

"Courtney obviously had to have Alicia as her middle name, your my best friend and you've done everything for me, helped me with everything and it's one of the perfect names that went with  Courtney" I smiled getting out of the bed and hugging my best friend. Their was a knock on the door and it was the nurse with Courtney.

"We have had the results for the hearing test and we can tell you Courtney is in fact Deaf, we believe it's because shes was born early so we will need to take Caleb for a test but we will do it tomorrow" the nurse smiled. I nodded I sighed and yawned, it had been a long stressful day bit I know it will all be worth is as time goes by