Master's Son & The Slave Girl

Chapter 12

MYA'S POV:

"Bed? Isn't it kind of," James glances around, "early for that?" Well yeah, I think. But thanks to your confession and me admitting that I feel the same when I shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of there being an 'us', let alone spending any time with you, I couldn't sleep at all last night, I almost say. If James knew there was any chance of me feeling the same, he'd surely make this situation infinitely more complicated and dangerous than it already is. Besides the fact that I let him kiss me last night. THE KISS! I groan, remembering all of last night's events with crystal clarity. Stupid, stupid Mya, I should've never let that happen. Damn me for being weak in the presence of this damn, beautiful man! ARGH! I need to stop thinking of him in that way.

James was drunk last night, my mind whispers, maybe he doesn't remember any of it...That's right, he was! I finally open my mouth to speak, flooded with relief, "Good morning Master, it is very early indeed. Y'see, I was up all night cleaning floor to ceiling after your welcome home party! So if you don't mind, I'll be going now. G'day master." I dip my head low in a nod, and step passed him. I don't even make it another step before a warm hand tugs me back.

"Mya, wait." James breathes. Irritation prickles underneath my skin. "Yes, master?" I force out. He rolls his eyes, sighing with exasperation. "Mya, I already told you to stop calling me that! Just James-" I hold up my hand, interrupting him.

"Just James, I know." Anger hardens my voice as I go on, "I'll only say this once more since I couldn't get it through your thick skull yesterday, so listen close and listen good, Mr. James." I hiss. He flinches, not expecting my sudden outburst. If I weren't so damn mad, it might've made me laugh.

"I don't know what it's gonna take for you to thoroughly understand what I'm saying to you now, James, but I'm saying this for this last time. I am a SLAVE. S-L-A-V-E. I cannot call you by your first name! Not now and not eva', and you wanna know why? Because it's considered disrespectful and if the wrong ears is listenin' and hears me speak a Master's first name, I could get whip'd ten times over on my bare back. And stop speaking to me so casually! We are not friends, we is nothing. Nothing! You are my master and I am your slave. Nothing more and nothing less. You have a good day now, massa." He clenches his jaw and looks away from me.

Satisfied, I walk past him again, and I'm almost to the trees when his voice stops me.

"If that's how you truly feel, Mya, why'd you let me kiss you last night?"

I flinch. He remembered. I turn around slowly, fear and disbelief pooling in the bottom of my stomach making me dizzy and nauseous. He's already looking at me. His eyes are dark and serious as he closes the distance between us. "Why'd you let me kiss you then, Mya?"

"Stop speaking so carelessly, Master. You don't how dangerous those words are for me." I say carefully.

"Then answer me, Mya. Why'd you let me kiss you?" He says, firmly.

"Stop it." I spit.

"Why did you let me take you to the field by my father's old boathouse-"

"I said stop it! This isn't a game-" He keeps going, interrupting me and stepping even closer as he goes on. "And why'd I see you blush when I told you I might be in love with you. It's not even an uncertainty anymore, Mya." The more he says, the more afraid I get. I try to step away, but my back hits a tree trunk. I hadn't even realized I'd been backing away from him the entire time he'd been speaking. He moves forward again, and my eyes dart around looking for anyone who might be watching us. Or even better, a path of escape. But his fingers clasp my chin, forcing my eyes up to his.

"Mya, look at me." He relaxes his grip some, but keeps my chin in his hands. "It's not an uncertainty anymore because I do." He finishes.

"You do what?" I ask exasperatedly, looking into his dark, blue eyes that swallow me each time I look into them.

"I do love you, Mya." I gasp in disbelief, shock, fear, or anger, I'm not sure which and he goes on still, "I'm just as confused as you are, if not more, because somehow you've become so important and dear to me in only 24 hours and that scares me-" My slap cuts him off.

Shock brightens his eyes as he looks back at me, hand on his cheek, "Mya-" I hold up my hand, I am infuriated now.

"Stop it, just stop." I pause, catching my breath. My anger grows with each second that passes. "A fallacy scares you? Well if that scares you, I want you to imagine the fear I'm feeling now. The fear in knowing that the words so carelessly spilling from your privileged lips are going to be the very thing that end up causing me infinite pain. Whether that be from whippings, or being sold, or even worse, hung or raped and beaten to death. Are you even remotely aware of the kind of world we live in? I don't know how things work at that fancy school of yours, but here in the South, whites don't 'love' negros like me. They buy us, sell us, beat us, rape us, kill us. You don't know me, James. You cannot love something you don't know. And you can't know me. Society won't allow it and neither will I." I take a deep breath, finally feeling the wetness on my cheeks. I'm crying. James reaches for my face, but I push his hands away. "So forget about loving me," I continue, quietly, "Better yet, try to forget about me all togetha'. Do us both a favor and find you a pretty lil' Southern Belle who's white and rich just like you. In return, I'll make sure to keep out your way. Goodbye, James."

Before I turn away from him for good, I take one last look at him. He really is beautiful, even now as he looks down at me with his sad, deep, blue eyes. I reach up and touch his hair, and let my hand slowly slide down to cup his cheek. He leans into the palm of my hand, and my heart breaks knowing that he'll never know how I feel. Or that I'll never be able to touch him like this ever again. Dropping my hand, I slide out from between him and the tree and walk away.

"Mya wait, please." I hear him say. But I don't stop. I keep going until I'm well hidden by the shadow of the trees.

Then, and only then, do I let myself sink to the ground and cry.