The Shadow Walker

101. Family Domestic

Legolas

Every breath hurt, and I wished I would just go unconscious. But with Adar's energy running through my veins, busily healing my side, I could scarcely close my eyes without bouncing off the table and running out to Aragorn.

"Legolas." Adar sat in the Steward's chair beside my table. "Why did you throw yourself between me and that blade?"

I dislike uncomfortable conversations, and his opening sentence already has me itching to hide. "Dead dignitaries are incredibly bad for alliance discussions, as well as morale."

"Indeed." He crossed his arms. "There's a body out there beside the White Tree, it's just not mine. I want to know why."

"Maybe I don't want to be King again," I hissed. "Maybe the first time was bad enough, and I've learned that even with all your problems, you're still the better ruler. I'm happier not having to deal with a kingdom."

Adar stared at me for a long moment, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger. Then he shook his head. "Lachiel would happily take the throne if you let her. Eda would keep you sane through what politics you'd absolutely have to face. No...if you were being selfish, I'd be dead. I know how you despise me at times."

I hate it when he gets perceptive. "I don't know why I did it. It doesn't even matter."

He scoffed. "Yes it does, and yes you do. Tell me, Legolas. At least admit it once."

Swallowing hard, I stared at the ceiling. He won't let go until I gave him what he wanted. "I saved you because I didn't want you to die."

A pause. "Why?"

I cringed and rubbed my eyes. "Because...Eru, do I have to say it?"

"Unless you know another means for me to hear it from your lips, yes."

Sighing heavily, I let my arm drop to the table beside me. "I did it because I love you." My words hung between us, quiet, but earthshattering.

Then, "You do?" The honest doubt in his tone crushed something within me—had our relationship truly gone that cold?

"Yes." I swallowed hard and met his gaze.

Adar blinked a couple of times and looked away. "I thought you would never forgive me."

"I haven't." The words jumped out before I could think about them. Feeling guilty, I added, "At least...not yet."

He rubbed his forehead, still trying to blink away the telltale shine in his eyes. "I know I hurt you when I left. It was remarkably immature of me Legolas, and I am sorry."

I shook my head, frowning. "No, Ada, it wasn't just that. All the way back when Naneth died. I was so afraid...I barely knew you, I barely knew anyone other than her. At first I thought you'd take care of me, but whenever I saw you...you were just crying. Or you were too busy to comfort me." These memories, though old, started bringing fresh tears to my own eyes.

Adar sniffed as a tear slipped out. He brushed it onto a knuckle and cleared his throat. "I thought you were too young to remember that."

I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles. "No. I remember it quite vividly."

He met my gaze. "Losing your naneth is the hardest thing I've ever endured. I should've sailed west then...I would have, except you were too young to rule, and to give the throne to someone else would be to throw away my adar's life work."

"Surely losing Lachiel's naneth was harder?" Watching him fall apart and attempting to piece him back together was one of the hardest things I've ever endured.