A Walk In My Head

painless

i'm getting better
thats true
but i'm not sure its completely true
can't tell if its pretend or not
because
i miss the pain
made me feel alive
now i feel like an empty, broken glass
with no reason to be there
and no use at all
i miss the carvings in my skin
reminded me i'm still here
i miss the hunger in my stomach
reminded me i had to eat to stay alive
i miss the sleepless nights
reminded me i had no reason to be awake
i miss watching how blood will drip into the floor
and i miss the pills that represented life and death
i just miss the turbulence of the plane
because there was still hope it will come back up
but if the plane has already crashed and is on pieces
there's no way to save it
it will just keep burning
and it will keep sinking
i miss my before
cause my after doesn't have hope at all