Soukoku - Silent Understanding

10

"The course of true love never did run smooth," - Willian Shakespeare

When Dazai was six years old he ran away from home. His parents had been talking about getting a divorce. He didn't want to be a bother to them so he ran.

"It was all my fault. Neither of them want me anymore so they're trying to get rid of me," he thought.

The next night both his parents picked him up at the police station with looks of relief. They were worried about him and scared that he would be gone forever. That meant Dazai was loved.

"Why are you leaving me?"

"We're not going anywhere sweetie. You're just going to be seeing us at different homes. Neither of us will ever leave you. Don't worry. Everything will be ok."

Two years later and his mom had already remarried with another kid on the way.

"Dad, does mom not love me? Is that why she's having another kid?"

"No, your mom will always love you. She just found someone else she would like to love just like you."

Four years later and Dazai's father committed suicide by jumping off a ledge into the ocean.

"Mom, did dad not love me? Is that why he killed himself?"

"No, he loved you plenty. He just hated the world more."

With one parent gone and the other married, Dazai chose to live alone instead of with his mother and step family.

"Are you sure about this? You're so young."

"I'm sure. I cant stay a kid forever."

And so Dazai got strong and learned to love himself, spending each day the same. That was, until Chuuya came along.

"Ah~ What do I do?" Dazai complained to himself, scratching at his hair with both hands."My beautiful chibi Chuuya might leave me at this rate!"

He had to admit that he wasn't at his highest point in life at the moment. With Chuuya gone, most likely forever, and the dreariness of his confession looming over him he didn't exactly have the best life at the moment.

His only hope at the moment was the Chuuya would find him and talk to him, if only for a little. The man knew where his house was and his school so there was no way Chuuya couldn't contact him but they man had never once gone up to Dazai of his own free will. It had always been Dazai approaching him, unless you count the time he gave him candy.

Ah, that was so nice. Chuuya being all cute and putting a little candy in his shoe locker. If only he could go back to those days maybe he would have had a better chance.

No no no, Dazai thought, even if I approached Chuuya back then the outcome would've been the same; Chuuya doesn't change so easily.

But it was so nice back then. The prime days of youth just sitting around contemplating suicide, what joy.

Suddenly Dazai's doorbell rang. His heart skipped a beat but he shook it off; it couldn't possible be Chuuya. It was probably just one of the neighbors wanting to talk about useless things again like where he puts his trash.

Just in case, Dazai slowly cracked open the door in anticipation. And to his suprise, it was Chuuya in all his short hat filled glory.

Dazai stood there in shock."W-What are you doing here?" He asked, damning his voice for cracking a bit.

Chuuya looked nervous (Was he going to confess?) and fidgeted slightly with something behind his back (He was definitely going to confess...right?). There was only two reason Chuuya would be here: To confess or to reject him properly. Dazai hoped it was the first option; Dazai prayed to Jesus it was the first option.

Suddenly Chuuya whipped out something from behind him, almost hitting Dazai, and bowed before him."W-Would you please stay by my side forever!" He practically yelled, his face turning crimson red.

Dazai quirked an eyebrow; was that a confession? He couldn't tell. Either Chuuya wanted to get married or was requesting Dazai to follow him around like a stalker for the rest of his life. He didn't mind either.

"How about you come inside first Chuuya?" Dazai said with a smile, glancing down at what Chuuya had in his hand. Was that the same candy he had given him in the past? How sweet.

"No way," Chuuya practically growled, reverting to his old self."Take this candy and give me your answer."

Chuuya almost pushed Dazai to the ground with the force he used to give Dazai the bag of candy but he still stood strong somehow."I don't exactly know what you're asking Chuuya," Dazai purred back in a way that always made Chuuya's blood boil. He tired to hide his nerves but his heart was beating a mile a minute.

"You know what I mean! Don't make me say it again!" Chuuya yelled, grabbing Dazai by the collar of his shirt with a snarl.

"Say what?" Dazai asked.

"That I want you goddamnit!"

They both paused, staring at each other with shocked expressions. Then after some thought Dazai asked,"So if I love you, it will be okay?"

"...Yeah," Chuuya whispered, voice barely above a whisper.

"And hug you?"

"...Sure."

"Study at home with you?"

"If I want to."

"Go on dates with you?"

"If you want to do that sort of thing."

Chuuya face was scarlet now and his grip on Dazai was slowly slipping. Dazai took this time to grab onto Chuuya's hips, pulling him close so that their bodies were flush against one another. Dazai abandoned the bag of candies, moving lower so that his mouth ways almost touching Chuuya's.

"Kiss you?"

"I-If I feel like it..."

"Touch you?"

"W-Wha...?"

"Have sex with you?"

"...Its to early for that idiot!" Chuuya yelled, smacking Dazai and pushing away from him.

"What? But I want to touch Chuuya now," Dazai whined, rubbing his face with a pout.

"Shut up and let me inside!" Chuuya said, ignoring Dazai's requests."Its dinner and I want food."

"Eh? Chuuya you know I cant cook!" Dazai said, following Chuuya inside and closing the door behind him. He picked up the bag of candies with a small smile of his face.

"Im making something."

Mom...Dad...

"Eh?! Chuuya are you sure? You might be to short to reach everything."

I finally understand.

"Shut up Shitty Dazai!"

So this is love.

A/N:
The end has finally come
More than halfway through I got major writers block but I finally managed to finish this masterpiece
I put that quote at the beginning because I had trouble starting this final chapter and used it as a sort of inspiration.
Anyways....
Hope you all enjoyed and look for some new fics coming soon!
-Katlnn Rotato