Her Highness h.s

Chapter 19(Never felt like this)

I've been anything but myself for the past week. I've been feeling lost, wanting to somehow drift away from everything and everyone. The weather seems to be feeling like me, too. It's been raining all week. It's funny how I said that I hated the rain and now, slowly, I've become fond of it. I know the reason, behind it, it's Harry.

A memory of him flashes before my eyes, with every rain drop that hits the window.

I hate myself for not hating Harry after what he said to me. He fucking left me in the rain, even though he knows I hated it. I warned him not to fall for me, but could it be that I was really warning myself? I find myself thinking that if he wasn't

With Jess maybe, just maybe, there would be a hope for Harry and I

The thought makes my guilty concious raise and I shake my head. I shouldn't keep on thinking like this, I can't stop thinking about him, about our moments about everything that resembles us.

Us?

Great now I'm reffering to Harry and I as us, guess I'm really losing my mind. I forget to remember that he's with Jess, my bestfriend. I haven't heard from her, maybe Harry said something to her about last week.

I feel a sting of pain in my chest, but I'm trying my everything to ignore the slight hurt.

I open the window of my room and breathe in the fresh air into my lunges, I need some of it badly, because I haven't left the house all weekend. Now I get it why people say sunday's are always depressing. I've been just laying in my bed all day, just leaving for bathroom couple times, I haven't even eaten anything.

"Finally, you're up, miss Liliya! I thought you were glued to the bed and I was just-" Mary interrupts my thoughts, I turn around only to see Mary clasping her chest. " Oh sweetie, why are you crying" She comes close and wipes my tears away with a napkin, that she pulled out of nowhere.

I didn't even notice that tears were streaming they way down on my cheeks. I never used to cry this easily before.Why did I even shed a tear? For a foolish boy?

No.

Wrong.

He isn't fool, I am.

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I literally drag myself to school. I really need a 6 months long vacation, twice a year. I chuckle at my thought as someone pulls me by my arm.

"Looking smoking as always" Zayn compliments.

"Thank you, now let go of me" I mutter and try to jerk my hand away, only to fail.

"Not so fast" He gazes into my eyes," You haven't been returning my calls." He adds.

"Um..." I try to come up with something, but my mind is blank from all the crying and thinking.

"It's okay, I know you're avoiding my calls, but lucky me, got to see you at school. So, tomorrow at 6, I'll pick you up. No excuses. I'll drag you if I have to" His tone is serious.

I just shake my head, but it only makes Zayn pull me closer to him.

"You really should learn to behave" his breath gets heavy, "I know who you really are" he whispers in my ear.

I shove him away with my two bare hands and turn around, which makes Zayn chuckle.

...

"Earth to Lilly" Jess waves her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, what did you say" I raise my eyebrow at her.

I can't help but think if Zayn was talking truth? Does he really know my true identity? If so, I'm in big trouble, I can already imagine the angry face of Mary's staring right at me, wanting to bury me alive.

"I was explaining how Harry and I spent Valentine's day" she says and wears a satisfied smile.

This one time Jess wants to eat with me at the school's cafeteria, and all she talks about is Harry and her. I know I'm a horrible friend but my stomach turns even from the mention of Harry.

"Oh. Sorry, go on" I force a smile and slice the potato on my plate with a fork and shove it down my throat.

"So, we ..." She starts and all I hear is bla bla bla. I really don't care about the fancy things they did, especially now that I'm being jealous. Who would ever believe that I would get jealous? Huh.

"Hello girls" Harry takes a seat next to Jess, which makes Jess shut up for a brief moment, and he nods at me, I return the nod and purse my lips.

"Harry I was just telling Lilly about you're suprise on Valentine's day. You know how you-" Harry suddenly looks worried and bites the inside of his cheek.

"Right..." Harry mutters and interrupts Jess, and turns his head at me"So, Lilly I heard Zayn talking about you" He changes the subject and smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Really? What did he say?" Not that I really care, or I do but I'm amused by the fact that Harry seems to be interested in mine and Zayn's... friendship? If you ask me he's nothing to me, not even a friend, to be honest.

"Something pretty serious but I'm not gonna tell you..." He chuckles and my thoughts go to Zayn and him knowing my secret. Fuck. "You look so worried, Does Zayn know something he shouldn't?" He adds.

I just stand up without answering him.

" My class starts.. So, bye" I wave awkawrdly and leave them sit in their seats.

I take big and quick steps, I don't even know where I'm going. I just have to get away from Harry. He is bad for me, like really bad. I've never felt like this about anyone.

I want to kill and kiss him at the same time.

He's driving me crazy and making me not want to be sane ever again.

As I'm distracted by my thoughts, I find myself at the music classroom. It's empty as I expected it to be.

I flush at the memory of Harry singing to me and hugging me after.

I walk to the piano and run my fingers over the chords.

"This must be fate, we're bumping into each others in this class once again" A deep voice speaks.

I look over to see Harry leaning on the doorway just like the last time, only this time he's smirking at me while locking the door....

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