A Guilt Trip to The Graveyard

Chapter 2

I won't lie, I'm pretty excited for Gerard and I to hang out tonight. We hadn't been able to do anything together since the smoking incident happened at school a couple of weeks ago. Not that I was supposed to be out late anyway, but if I get in trouble, at least my parents aren't at wits end with me currently. 

I waited until I got the expected text from Gerard, saying he was here. 
I slowly lowered myself out of my window, with Gerard standing close by to catch me if I lost grip or something. My feet hit the ground with no problems and we were on our way. 

"Lindsey isn't coming?" I asked, as I was quite confused, considering they've been distancing off from each other. She was his girlfriend, and they acted as if they were attached at the hip for a good year and a half.  As much as I hated to admit it, I was jealous of their relationship and for a good amount of it, I hoped for the worse for them. Not that I wasn't happy that they were happy, it was just different and I felt replaced, but yet I still dealt with all the times Gerard blew me off or brought her along unexpectedly. He was in love, and you don't always think straight then, do you?

"No," Gerard shrugged his shoulders, "She's not exactly speaking to me at the moment." I could see the hurt in his eyes, which really made me unsettled. "What happened?" I popped the risky question.

He shrugged again in response, "She found out I was drinking more, and we've just been at each other's throats lately, so now she's resorted to ignoring me," He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and looked at me, "Oh," is all I could think to say.

I've never been in a serious relationship. There was always the three week long 5th grade relationship, or the occasional girl who I'd dance and hang out with during concerts and parties me and Gerard went to, but like I said, nothing serious. I'm scared of commitment in some ways. My parents aren't the best role models when it comes to love, their marriage is anything but perfect. They fight and they yell and there's always problems. 
I also don't think I've ever truly loved someone like that, I've never had a crush on a girl. Not that I would be any girl's first choice to begin with. 
But all this leading up to the fact, I don't know what to say or do with these types of things. Gerard has been in the dumps and I couldn't help that much.

"Let's not talk about her tonight, Frankie." Gerard spoke, "This is our time."
I smiled and agreed. 

When we got there, it wasn't really packed, but it wasn't anywhere near empty. We headed inside, and as the band started opening, Gerard managed to get us beers. He had his ways with things and I wasn't in any place to question it. He's Gerard, and I just accepted that. 

Throughout the show, we drank and we danced and by the end, Gerard was tripping over his own feet and slurring some of his words. He had a hard time knowing his limits. Another bad habit. 


I decided Gerard was better off staying at my house for the night, not that it would even matter, it's to the point my mom expects for him to be in my room in the morning from his constant visits throughout the day, and more often, the night. 
We got to my window, I put my finger to my lips, looking him in the eyes and letting a quiet "shh" sound pass my lips. I helped Gerard grab a hold on the window ledge, and boosted him up. After achieving to get him in the room, I climbed in myself. 

I managed to help Gerard get his shirt & pants off, and that, believe it or not, was a pretty difficult task when someone stronger than you is squirming and giggling like a little kid. 
Like normal, I turned on the TV and laid him in my bed, getting in behind him after pulling a comfortable pair of shorts on. 

Gerard, being the drunk slut he is, giggled into my ear random and slurred words and sentences I barely understood. 
He then, sat up, and gave me one of those smirks I mentioned earlier. 
He leaned down, hovered over me and whispered into my ear,
 
"Frankie, I wanna fuck."
 

My eyes widened, and my face burned with a light shade of pink caused by embarrassment and shock.
"No, Gerard." I stated sternly and pushed him off of me so he was laying on his side of the bed. 
"Why not, Frank?" He pouted, and giggled and ran his fingers through my hair. "Because I said no, you're with Lindsey. You can't do that." I tried to tell him, but he sat up once more, with a face filled with all the offense he could have taken, "I am not with Lindsey, Frank. She left, you dumbass." 
"That's not what you said earlier," I raised my voice slightly in an odd way to show I was serious, "So, you lied to me."
"Obviously, Frank." He gave attitude back, "I didn't want to talk about it."

I let a very slight "Oh," release from my mouth. Gerard climbed back on top of me, "Don't get upset, Frankie. I'm sorry." And with that, he laid his head on my chest.