Mayday [MarkSon]

Chapter 22

It doesn't feel like dreaming its more of like breathing again after being suffocated.

"W-What do you mean?" I stuttered.

"Didn't you heard me I'm going to help you" He said more irritatedly. I was confused.

"Don't think about it too much, doesn't mean I'm helping you I'm going to change my mind about that bastard or you" He added and look at me. I tried to comprehend what is happening.

"B-But how?" I ask. He walked leading me somewhere.

"Youngjae begged me for doing this...if it wasn't for him then probably you won't see that guy again" He answered. Youngjae doesn't have to do that. I was starting to beg the head supervisor as well.

"See those?" Jaebum pointed me the nurses with different uniform.
Together with them was a man wearing a lab coat with a different logo.

"Those guys will be the one who will put Jackson to hell. The biggest mental institute in the country. Unlike this hospital which treat mild and acute mental illnesses..."Jaebum explained then look at me.

"But them they take the real thing...People that is seriously uncapable of being sane...They collect monsters " Jaebum said and emphasize the last word.

I saw the unfamiliar men walk towards the elevator probably heading to the supervisor's room.
My attention then fall on Jaebum.

"And helping me see Jackson would stop them?"I ask. Jaebum then frown.

"Basically No...Even if you see Jackson nothing will change they will still take him away. No matter what protest you throw its just trash. So your basically pathetic right now" His words hurt but it rang with truth. It didn't even made me feel sad it just made me feel bad about myself.

"But just like I said I'm going to help you see him not save him.That's not my job...its yours" He then left me. Walking away like nothing happened. He was right I was supposed to save him...But now I'm on the edge of seeing him go.

I don't know if I should smile or not. But seeing Jaebum trying and changing makes me feel a little bit envious. What did Youngjae do to him that I can't for Jackson?

I'm sorry that nothing I do is good enough.

I want to say those words to him. Scream it. Until I breakaway from the guilt that holds me.

I want him to reply.

Yeah...I told you so.

I want him to get angry, to get upset but instead I'm hurting him, making him suffer because of what?...

Because of this stupid blind psychiatrist...

I don't deserve him nor this place nor the place he will be. He needs to get out of here...That's the only way I could make him free from all of this.

Make him forget all of this and maybe he will be more happy with someone else rather than a pathetic doctor.

Someone else...

A sudden clang of materials broke me away from my thoughts. I sigh feeling helpless.

I walk to my next patient.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paper works. More paper and more works. That's what the head supervisor making me do.

He lessened my patients....
He lessened my freedom...
He lessened my salary...

He took away everything...

I want to get angry. I want to be upset but somehow It felt like I deserve all of  this. The looks the other nurses gave me and the patients slowly ignoring and avoiding me suddenly felt real enough to hurt me.

"Hyung" Youngjae opened the door of my office and I stood up expecting him.

"Where have you been? I've been finding you since yesterday?" I said to him and walk. He smiled and laugh.

"I left early yesterday" Youngjae replied and I raise my eyebrow at him for a second but I immediately ask about what Jaebum said.

"About Jackson?" He simply smiled.

"If its still on your mind. It is worth to take the risk"