Captive

chapter 9

It seemed like the days went by fast and the months even faster. I could feel myself growing the little baby bump was starting to show....I always held it......singing to the baby so that it knew my voice. Ben would see me and smile.......tell me I'm beautiful and glowing. I would smile but always in the back of my head I knew soon I would run. I have the thing he loves most, so be wouldn't kill me or harm me. Knowing this brought joy to my heart...........was this wrong?

There are times now that I ride with Ben out to go see places, he always holds my hand like we're in love and when people ask we are newly wed. I hate doing that but sometimes the smile on his face would brighten my smile......but why? Hes my taker, keeper, dream crusher.........husband.

I looked out the window while sitting on the sofa. The smell of cooking food filled the room...making my stomach feel empty.

"Don't worry little one....we'll eat soon" I said placing my hand on my stomach.

My heart jumped when I felt the baby move. That move excited my heart and made me smile.....The feel of another growing inside me....

"Anna..." Ben said peeking his head around the corner.

I looked up at him still smiling and holding my stomach

"Is he moving" he asked walking towards me

I nodded my head looking down. I watched as Ben's hand reached for my belly.

"come on little one...move for me"

He said speaking to my belly. once again the baby moved...The look on Ben's face was excited. I watched as he leaned in and kissed my belly....my heart jumped and I smiled.....BUT WHY

"Well.. " I heard a voice behind me

"Look at the happy couple"

The voice walked around the sofa.......it was Conner.

"This is a surprise" Ben said getting up and hugging him

"Where have you been" Ben asked

"I had to go find myself.....but what's this......are you guys happy now.........is she...."

"Pregnant....yes" Ben cut him off

Conner looked at me and smiled. Ben helped me to stand so that he could show off my belly. I looked down not wanting to make eye contact.

"Wow....anna...how far" conner asked

I looked up at him into his eyes

"about 4 months" I said in a soft tone

"well you look beautiful and healthy" he replied

I looked at Ben who was looking down at me smiling. He nodded his head toward the kitchen...I guess to tell me its time for dinner.

"come Conner.....have dinner with us" Ben said walking with me to the table

I looked into Conners eyes as I sat down at the table. He just kept his eyes set on mine

"Anna...are you happy?" Conner asked

I nodded looking down

"hmm...you look like things have been going well.. I would've thought by now you'd be-"

"Conner!...you want to eat right. Come fix your plate" Ben yelled from the kitchen counter.

I relaxed as soon as Conner stood from the table and walked over to the counter. He makes me feel uncomfortable when he stares at me. Everyone does. I placed my hand on my belly, moving it in circles. 

"I wonder if why you move is because you're happy....Don't worry little one..ill always be here to protect you" I whispered to my belly

Ben sat the plate infront of me and kissed my forehead. The food smelled great and my plate was full. I ate silently while Ben and Conner rambled on about the places he has been. I stayed looking down as the conversation turned to me and how far along I was. Ben proudly telling him 3 months and holding my hand. I looked up into his eyes that were filled with joy.

"Anna, what's wrong?" Ben asked sounding concerned

"Nothing" I shook my head "I just need to go bathe and relax I feel weird" I replied getting up from the table.

I didnt look back as I walked up the stairs and to the bathroom. I ran the warm water in the tub and walked to the bedroom. I slowly stripped out of my clothes infront of the full mirror.  The bruises I was used to seeing were no longer there, but the scars from the cuts he used to put on my thighs were still there. Just haunting me with the past and the pain and the numbness. On how I missed the numbness...it was the only comfort I had here.

I flipped on the robe and turned to walk back to the bathroom only to see conner leaning on the door way.  I just looked at him as he walked towards me...the closer he got the faster my heart started to pound. I started to step back but he grabbed my shoulder. I started to say something but he placed his fingers on my mouth.

"Don't worry. Ben just left for the market. He told me to keep an eye on you" He said keeping eye contact with me.

I don't know why but I just stood there...still....unable to move as he slowly started to push my robe off my shoulders. He kept the robe on me around my breast but exposed my shoulders. He let go of me and stepped back.

"Anna you are beautiful" he said before walking out of the room.

I chest dropped as I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

Why did he do that I thought to myself as I stepped into the warm water.

.

.

.

.

.

Ben's arm rested across me as if to make me feel safe, when in actually it made me feel trapped. That is what I am.. trapped. By his arms, by his locks, .........by my fear. I haven't heard the little voice that told me to run for days now. Starting to miss the comfort of a brave voice shouting for me to leave. Now...it is only silence. My comfort is only from the little movements from inside me. Where another life is growing....a life I will protect with my own.

I moved his arm away and slowly made my way to the bedroom door. The hallway was dark...this time I was not running away, I was was trying to be alone. Being alone was the only comfort I had.

There was a light on in a room at the end of the hall. I'm sure it was conner...that was his room before he left. I quietly peered into the door way, trying to see why he was up so late. He was drawing on a big white board...the defined shadows that he shaded made what he was sketching so life like. It looked like shoulders with bruises.......my shoulders.