The Way You Loved Me [Under Edit]

"You were a fool for loving him.."

"Can I ask you something?"

      Niall and I had been laying on the ground for what seemed like ages, in utter silence; finally, he cleared his throat and asked the question. 

     Squinting through the darkness, I raised my eyebrows at him. "Ask away."

    I could hear him shuffling around in the grass, drawing himself closer to me. I couldn't manage to swallow the lump in my throat as my body became aware of his close proximity. His hand brushed against my arm as he shifted to his side. "Why did you leave for a year?"

     I sighed deeply and bit my bottom lip. Luckily for me, Niall wasn't able to see the tears swelling in my eyes. My voice was shaky as I began. "I was in a wreck about a year ago," I paused, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, I continued, but could feel his steady gaze watching me.

    "Spenser's mom--"

    "Madelie," Niall whispered.

    "Yes, Madelie. She sent us to the store to get buns or something. At first, it was only Spenser and I going..." I took another deep breath, the lump growing. "But then Spenser's brothers, Beau and Zach, wanted to come too... Right as we got in Spenser's car, Mara and Wyatt joined in."

    Tears stung my eyes as I continued to tell him the infamous tale of our departure. When I reached the part of the story where we came upon Hayes in his truck, I began to sob. Deep, shuddering breaths escaped my lips as I struggled to stand. Rubbing the tears from my eyes, I walked blindly away, unsure of where I was going.

    I heard Niall's footsteps along the pavement, a few paces back. I walked a little farther before stopping, another sob escaping. My legs gave out at the knees and I began to tumble towards the ground. Niall's arms snaked around my waist just before I met the rocky road. Pulling me towards him, he pulled me into an embrace as I cried into his chest. I was so caught up in the moment, I clung to him with desperation.

    We stood like that for a little while; my face buried in the tee beneath his jacket, his rigth arm around my waist as his left stroked my mass of curls. "I didn't mean to make you cry," he mumbled. "If I had known--"

   "Don't worry about it," I said, pulling away from him. Running a hand across my face, I sighed. "I have to talk about it eventually... You just happen to be the first person, other than Spenser or Mara, that I've talked to about it."

    "What an honor," He laughed. "Being your first."

   A flush creeped up my neck as I laughed. 

    "That sounded so wrong, I'm sorry."

    "Don't worry about it," I smiled. "I've grown up around the Cristoffe boys my entire life, I've heard much worse."

   "Touche," he replied. My eyes were adjusting in the darkness and I could faintly see Niall's profile. He reached his pocket for something, which turned out to be a lighter. I watched as he lit up a cigarette, the flame licking at his face. 

   For the briefest moment, the light lit up half of his face. His bewildered gaze was on me, his eyes unmoving. "You smoke," i found myself asking.

   "Yep."

   "That's a nasty habit to have." I took a step towards him, swatting at the cigarette. He tossed the lighter back into his pocket and intercepted my hand in one fluid motion. His firm grip tightened, the cigarette glowing from his lips.

    "I only do it when I'm anxious," he replied, the cigarette bobbing.

   "Why are you anxious," I whispered, taking a step towards him. You can't like him, I told myself. You have Spenser, he's all you need. If I needed Spenser as much as I thought, then why was I off with Niall? And why hadn't Spenser come looking for me yet?