Forbidden Love |Soukoku|

Chapter 7

•The Real And The Fake•

Chuuya slowly opened his sapphire eyes to see a dark room. The soft sound of rain pitter pattying on his window, but something was off. He rolled over to look at the clock to see is read 10:25 AM. The ginger shot up out of bed to look around his room. Normally Kouyou would have come to wake him up earlier but she didn't, this lead him to become extremely worried. As if on que with the situation suddenly the door to the home opened.
"Chuuya honey I hope you're awake I'm home" she chimed as he came barreling down the stairs towards her. He suddenly engulfed her in a hug to which she seemed taken back. He released her and looked her up and down his hands still on her shoulders.
"Chuuya dear what's wrong" she said putting on a caring smile with a hint of worry in her voice.
"Nothing" he quietly mumbled as he began to mope back to his room.
"I believe we have something we need to discuss Chuuya" she said dropping her smile and tone to a serious one. He whirled around to look at her a worried expression plagued on his face.
"We can talk about it when you're ready of course" she smiled kindly towards the small boy and turned to walk towards her room already knowing he wasn't ready to discuss the letter. As soon as she said that Chuuya quickly ran up to his room tears threatening to spill from his eyes in front of Kouyou. Quickly he closed his door behind him and flopped down on his bed. 'Why do things like this always happen to me' he asked himself as he quietly sobbed into his pillow. He slowly rolled onto his back and whipped tears from his face. The room was quiet and dark, the only sound you could hear was the rain calmly hitting the window. Not much light was comming through the window either, the curtains were closed and little light was showing through due to it raining. All the ginger wanted to do was sit in his room undisturbed with the rain and his sadness. He didn't want to think about the bandaged brunette, Kouyou or anyone for that matter. He slowly drifted back to sleep to the sound of the rain.
  There was a soft knocking on the ginger's door, he sat up still a bit groggy from just waking up.
  "Come in?" He questioned wondering who it could be, in stepped the cherry headed woman he had seen earlier.
  "Its time for dinner Chuuya" she said softly realizing he had been asleep. He turned to look at the clock which read 6:00 PM, despite how late it was he wasn't all that surprised he had slept for so long due to the fact he really didn't want to be awake at all. The petite boy sighed and stood up to follow the cherry headed woman to the dining room. The rain still softly patting the windows all throughout the house, it gave quite a calm vibe to the home contrary to how anxious Chuuya was feeling. Suddenly there was a large clap of thunder and the lights in the house flickered a few times before going out. This did not help how the small ginger was feeling, he began checking over his smolders constantly, moving constantly.
"I will go get a few candles you stay here" Kouyou said a gentle tone in her voice, she knew how much Chuuya hated thunder. He could stand rain but when it started thundering he couldn't handle it. A few moments and sholder checks Kouyou came back with a lit candle and handed another one to Chuuya.
"I'm glad I cooked before comming to get you" she chuckled lightly trying to lighten the no longer calm atmosphere, with no success unfortunately. The two sat down to the table and Kouyou pulled out the letter, Chuuya knew this would happen eventually but he wished it wasn't this soon.
"We have to discuss this letter soon whether you like it or not, this could be a threat to us you know that Chuuya" she said seriously, Chuuya only nodded in response knowing that if any harm did come to then it was all his fault. Kouyou began to open it to read it, as she opened it Chuuya got tense.

'My beloved Chuuya-San I'm sorry, not really, to inform you that I will not be able to see you anymore. While I enjoyed our time together I knew you were against me this whole time, so I was using you. I was a spy and don't plan on ever seeing you again, sorry not really sorry.
~ Dazai-San'

She finished reading the letter and put it down looking up at Chuuya.
"Now I have a few questions about this," she started looking Chuuya dead in the eyes "do you two usually use honorifics when speaking, from my conclusion you two were very close" she asked still looking him in the eyes expecting the truth.
"No-" he stuttered out looking down at the table, the fact he used them probably meant Chuuya meant nothing to him as a friend, he shuddered at that thought remembering the kiss they almost shared. 'Dazai couldn't blow me off like this after trying to go full on make out with me could he?' Chuuya thought knowing he was only trying to bring himself hope.
"Hmm then that's all I have to ask" she said ripping the letter up. "When the electricity turns back on you can take a shower and go to bed, I'm assuming you're not going out tonight?" She asked as he shook his head no and stood up walking in the direction of his room. He waited in his room for quite a while but the electricity did turn back on. He shuffled himself into his bathroom and locked the door. The ginger looked at himself in the mirror almost cringing at how awful he looked.

Trigger warning going forward

He looked into his eyes through the mirror and thought more about the recent happenings. Tears almost the color of his eyes fell staining his cheeks. The tears kept falling and he couldn't stop them 'damn that Dazai why did it have to be this way, I hate my life its always me that this happens to' he sobbed uncontrollably and hit his fist on the sink. He scooted towards the shower to start it so Kouyou wouldn't be able to hear him. The ginger slowly rolled up the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing revealing his wrists to the open air. He opened his medicine cabinet and dug through it to find his blades that he never thought he would ever see again. He glanced at his wrist knowing it wouldn't look so clean for much longer. Without hesitation the ginger took knew of the blades and cut himself several times. Tears weren't falling anymore, rather he had a blank face void of emotion. He watched as the blood trickled down his wrist and hand into the sink. He made several more red gashes before wrapping it and cleaning everything. He hopped in the shower for a bit and came out, dressed and went to his room.
"I hope you're happy with yourself Dazai" he said almost angerly. Little did he know Mori had just informed him of the situation and he was doing the exact same thing... Dazai didn't write the letter.

Wow this chapter is longer than normal it was pretty much another filler sorry. I hope you enjoyed it sorry for that trigger warning at the end I just haven't felt well these past few days and its showing in my writing but I hope it was good I love all of you reading this!
~ Chibi