About me, About my life and what lead me to try to end it.

Chapter 1

I am attracted to the darkness.

Yet i am just no different than you I just choose to express myself differently. I have no intention to hurt others unless they hurt me. Then isn't it just called "Self defense". I am no criminal. Now that could be a lie. We all lie, don't we?

I usually get called things like "Gothic" "Emo trash" Or even get things like "Slit your wrists or kill yourself" Constantly.  it be over social media or just in the streets. Everybody gets it. I get that but do they really understand what it is like for me? 

Somebody who is pronoun to actually doing things like that? 

Somebody who has done those things in the past. I understand this may be hard for people to read. But I feel like it needs to be addressed.

I would get up every morning and stand in front of the mirror, look at myself and wonder, Maybe, just maybe i could be different and liked more? But then I begin to understand i have spent years getting myself to look like this; The black hair, Make-up, all the jewelry and the piercings. People may think you just wake up one day like this. But its not. Its called; Personality, character and confidence Or PCC.

Ether i decide to care or not its my decisions at the end of the day don't let anybody get in your way. I get called weird for the stories i write, But do they know they could be true or not. That is your decision to make. 

Not mine, It was weird right...

 I'm gonna tell you a TRUE story, but mainly about a few people who made me want to take my own life back in October last year. I hope those people read this and understand what they said did effect me, Even though i may of not shown it.People need to understand that what they said can effect people. Big or small. We need to help each other to reach out to others, Help each other. Talk those out of suicide. So we don't lose people dear to us, We should not give in. Keep fighting.

 I am going to tell you a little story of why i lost the fight with myself...

And how it shaped me to the way i am now, Not caring about things. Just getting by with very few people. But its the way i chose. You like it or not.