Losing Eight Lives

2 | When I Noticed

I grinned at my best friend. "You know, we are never going to get anything done if you don't pay attention."

Amanda stuck her tongue out at me and collapsed in a heap of laughter. "Oh Phoebe relax. We have plenty of time to get this done. Loosen up a bit," she said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and continued to at least attempt at getting something done before she left. We had a project due in two days and we were almost done, but I still needed Amanda's help with a few finishing touches. We partnered up to do a project on bullying. How it could effect not only the victim, but the bully and the bystanders as well.

We chose to do a project on bullying because we've both been victims of it before. So we could relate.

Amanda's bullying incident happened not that long ago. A week or so at the time maybe. Kids on her bus were tormenting her about how terrible she was and targeting insecurities.

I internally shook my head. People could be so awful.

Amanda was still giggling when her phone vibrated. She grabbed it and started reading her text message. I could tell it was a long one, it took her a while to read, and as her eyes scanned the screen, I noticed her smile fade and the happiness drained out of her. She continued to read and swallowed hard, noticeably holding back tears.

I frowned, and studied her for a few more long seconds. "What does the text say?" I asked softly.

Her eyes were wet by this time and she brought a hand to her mouth, lowering her phone.

"Amanda," I almost whisper, "Are you okay?"

She shook her head and started getting her things together. "I have to go," she said simply, tears still in her eyes.

"Wait," I said a bit more firmly then I wanted to. She turned around and looked at me through puffy eyes. "What did the text say?"

She shook her head and turned around again.

"Amanda, please tell me," I begged, "Or at least come here." I opened my arms to welcome her to a hug.

She covered her mouth again and dropped her stuff, breathing in sobs. She came over to me and accepted my hug gratefully.

Still hugging I asked her again what the text said, hoping for an answer.

She finally pulled back and decided to tell me. "It was from an old friend who I loved a whole lot," she sniffled. "It was just basically telling me how awful and ugly and stupid I was." She swallowed and looked at the floor.

I stared at her. "Amanda," I didn't even know where to begin. "That's terrible. You should know how beautiful, intelligent and amazing you are." She didn't look up. "Ask anyone. They'll tell you. Don't believe a single word that text says."

I didn't even have to lie to her. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and rather popular. I was lucky to have her as a friend.

She nodded like she believed me but still didn't look up. She was getting harder and harder to make happy after something like this happened. After someone brought her down she was usually strong enough to perk back up and keep going. Just forget it and move on. But lately things, like that text, were starting to come more frequently. One text or name calling after another, I thought she was starting to believe them. She was loosing her strength; she was getting weaker.

"Hey," I said. This time she looked up. "Promise me you'll come talk to me before making any . . . hasty decisions okay?" I looked her in the eye.

She looked down at the carpet again, "Okay."

I wasn't sure I believed her, but I didn't ask for more. I felt better knowing she would come talk to me.

But for some reason, deep inside of me hid a hint of doubt. But I thought nothing of it, and moved on.