It gets better

5/5/2017

I cant do anything right. I clean the house but I do it wrong. I do my homework but get grounded for not doing housework. I'm told to look after my mental health but get yelled art for being "lazy".

I'm the "bad kid". I start fights with my sister, I don't do what I'm told, and I give too much attitude. That's how they see it. This is whats really happens: my sister provokes me until I snap, I don't always hear what people say to me and I often forget, I'm looking after my mental health by resting and trying not to stress myself out to the point of suicide attempts again, and people don't listen to me. They don't hear me. They just talk over me, or interrupt or just pretend to listen. That is until I start talking in a way people don't like. then they start to pay attention. It's the only way I feel I can get my parents attention sometimes. I hate it. I don't want to talk cheekily or be rude to my parents, but I need them to listen sometimes. 

I don't know how my parents expect me to: clean the house, do homework, get volunteer service, and look after my mental health all at once. It's not freakin possible. And lately I've been sacrificing the most important one: looking after my mental health.